“How did you know to come here?” Felipe asked, tucking the card with the address in his pocket.
“I didn’t, but a few months before I had heard my uncles and cousins talking about some men who came into our neighborhood talking about English classes and helping people find work. When I saw them, I thought they were just rival padroni trying to steal customers, but my nonna kept calling them stregoni. She kept saying that the people who had warned everyone about the stregoni trying to recruit people to their wicked ways and spread sin were right. It took me a couple of days to find anyone who knew where the stregoni were, but once I did, I found my way here easily enough.”
Anger swelled in Felipe’s chest. No wonder Tony DeSanto had been nothing but helpful and eager to learn and do. Felipe had been the same way when he ran from his family toward the Paranormal Society’s protective embrace: always the first one to volunteer and do more. As a parent though— Felipe shook his head. After what happened to Santiago, Felipe had cast himself out before his family could, but no matter how old he got, he still couldn’t understand how anyone could cast out their own child. The amount of things Teresa could do to lose his love fit on one hand and none of them involved things she couldn’t control or never asked for. Felipe took half a step closer at the look darkening DeSanto’s features but caught himself. He didn’t know DeSanto well enough to know if a hug would be appreciated or make him uncomfortable, but he wished he did. Gently pulling the book of warrants from DeSanto’s hands, Felipe set it back on the shelf. Señor Quintero had always known how to handle Felipe; if only he had that gift. A trickle of sadness slipped across the tether, extinguishing the remaining embers of his anger toward DeSantos’ family into something far more delicate.
“You must have been terrified. I know I would have been,” Felipe said barely above a whisper. “Your family did you a bad turn, Tony, no matter their beliefs.”
DeSanto looked like he wanted to disagree, but he merely swallowed hard and looked away. Taking a step away from Felipe, he shook his head and rubbed his forearm over his jacket. Despite the stubble on his cheeks and the way he handled himself in the training room, he suddenly looked so young.
“Every time I see my ma for Sunday dinner, she asks if I’m rid of the wolf yet. And every time, I have to tell her no. I thought… I thought if I came here, someone could help me control the wolf or get rid of it, but I can’t do either,” DeSanto said, his voice deceptively steady even as his eyes glossed withmoisture. “I know what she’ll say tonight when I see her. She’ll tell me what a shame it is that I’m wasting my life here and that I should become a priest because they know how to keep the magic at bay. Maybe she’s right. Or maybe I’m just a hopeless case. I don’t see anyone else turning into a wolf at random.”
As DeSanto let out a bitter laugh and forced a twitchy smile, Felipe wanted nothing more than to beg him to lie or skip Sunday dinner, but he knew how hard it was to stay away when you loved people who couldn’t love you back the way you are.
“It might help to make it clear to your mother that learning to control your powers is a process that takes time, but no matter how much she doesn’t like them, they aren’t going away.” At Tony’s flinch, Felipe added gently, “Your powers will always be there, DeSanto. Whether you suppress them or not, you are still a werewolf. Trust me when I say joining the church doesn’t make people’s powers go away. I’ve met a priest who used his powers to hold sway over his parishioners and nuns who still used their powers to protect themselves even after years of disuse. No matter what you do, your powers will never go away.”
“But I thought—”
Felipe held DeSanto’s gaze and arms tightly at the first sign of desperate, glassy-eyed panic in hopes it would ground him in human form. He didn’t look like he might shift, but strong emotion could send a scared wolf into flight. That was the last thing the boy needed before a tense Sunday dinner with his family.
“Listen to me, whoever tells you they can rid of your powers or suppress them permanently is a liar. Dr. Barlow and I have seen firsthand what people like that can do, and it’s far worse than being a werewolf. If anyone offers to get rid of your powers for you, tell me who they are because they need to be prosecuted.” When DeSanto looked crestfallen but hesitantly nodded, Felipe gave his arms another squeeze and added, “Iknow your whole world has been turned upside down by finding out you’re a werewolf, but it isn’t all you are. You’re a well-mannered, levelheaded young man, and I can always count on you to do good work in the film lab. Everyone loved the photographs you took at the All Hallows’ Eve party.”
“It’s nothing serious.”
“It could be. Have you given any thought to what you might want to do in the future?”
DeSanto shook his head and turned away, so Felipe couldn’t see his face. “I started to, but it isn’t going to work out.”
“Why? What was it? Maybe I can help you.”
“I told the head inspector when I joined that I wanted to be an investigator. I figured a wolf can do things as well or better than a dog, and the police use them all the time. That’s why I was the head inspector’s page for a while, but he made me stop because I can’t even start training to be an investigator until I can control my wolf.” Even without seeing him, Felipe could picture the hurt on his face mirroring the rawness of his voice. “He told me I was a liability and sent me to work in the dark room.”
Felipe bit back the things he wanted to say to the head inspector. He would have a talk with him later. “DeSanto, control takes time.”
“It’s been almost a year!” he cried, his voice cutting through the quiet like a knife. “How long am I supposed to go on like this? No matter what I do, I keep blacking out and turning into a wolf when I don’t want to. I’ve tried everything I can think of, but nothing helps! How many days am I supposed to lose to this?”
DeSanto’s hands clenched as if he wanted to punch one of the shelves or hit himself, but he let it drop with a wince that made Felipe’s heart hurt. Drawing in a rough breath, he steeled himself and replied in a croaking whisper, “I keep missing work. Every time I shift, I get stuck that way for days, and when I turnback, I have no idea what day it is or how long it’s been. Mrs. Fleischer has been a saint about this, but I can tell she’s losing patience with me. I spend all of my time not working running errands, so I can save up money in case she finally sacks me. I can’t go back on the streets. I can’t. I’ll keep turning, and out there, I might hurt someone. I don’t want to li—”
“Stop! Stop. Look at me, Tony,” Felipe said sternly at the first whiff of wet fur and musk rolling off DeSanto. He hoped to god the way to keep an unstable wolf from shifting was the same as jaguars. The young man gave him a miserable look but met his gaze, and for a second, Felipe thought he could sense the wolf staring out at him through DeSanto’s eyes. “You are safe. You are not going to end up on the street no matter what happens, not as long as I’m around. Have you told anyone you can’t control your shifting?”
“The head inspector knows. I tried to tell Mrs. Fleischer, but I don’t know if she believes me. She said I’m old enough to know how to control it by now.”
Felipe sighed. “That’s if you started shifting when you were a child. Most people have their first shift before they’re sixteen. I’m assuming you didn’t tell her you only started shifting a few months ago.” When DeSanto hesitantly shook his head, Felipe said, “I know you don’t want to hear it, but control takes time. Your body doesn’t care that you’re older than most; it still needs to train that muscle before it can use it. It took my daughter nearly two years to fully control her ability to shift.”
“Your daughter? I thought you and Dr. Barlow were more than friends.”
“We are. Long before I met him, my best friend and I got married in name only to keep each other safe. She and her partner, Agatha, have built a life together, and between the three of us, we have a daughter, Teresa. She’s only a year or two older than you, and like one of her mothers, she’s a jaguar shifter. Imight not be a shifter myself, but I’ve seen how difficult it can be, especially at the beginning.”
“Is… is she an investigator?”
“Teresa? No, she’s studying at the Philadelphia School of Design for Women. She’s an artist. Her mother and I kept her away from the society because we were afraid someone might try to rope her into being an investigator because of who I am and what her powers are even if it wasn’t her calling.”
He hated that Louisa had been right to do so. Even if no one said it, there was an unspoken understanding that most large shifters would become investigators if they didn’t already have a trade. Felipe silently sighed. It had been twenty years since they arrived at the society, and it still hadn’t changed. Something needed to be done to fix that.
“Teresa is an artist and is very happy doing so. Her mother, the one who is a jaguar shifter too, runs a gallery with her partner.” At DeSanto’s confused look, Felipe asked, “You know there are shifters at the society who work in the library and greenhouses, don’t you?”
“I… No, I didn’t know. I’ve only spoken with the Brooklyn Pack in the training rooms. They made it sound like all werewolves became investigators.”
While the Brooklyn Werewolf Pack wasn’t technically under the Paranormal Society’s rule, at least a handful of them were working for the society at any given time. More often than not, they were brought in to help on cases or as back-up during dangerous raids, but they were also hired out as private investigators or did things related to pack business. Felipe had worked with plenty of the pack members over the years, and with so many being former soldiers, they were no stranger to bloodshed and how it changed a person. Felipe tried to picture Tony DeSanto living his life or working alongside MajorBrowning and couldn’t. Just because one was born with teeth and claws didn’t mean they had to be used that way.
