“That is such ayouthing to do, AJ.”
Hearing him laugh, seeing him smile at me for a second before he focuses on driving again, it reminds me how important our friendship is to me.
It’s the instant I realize I can’t push.
Cam clearly doesn’t want this, doesn’t want to actually be my boyfriend, and maybe it’s for the best.
Instead of dwelling on that, I try for another laugh.
“I didn’t want them to fight,” I argue. “They were really mean to each other for a few weeks.”
“Teenage girls have the capacity for great meanness,” he says with mock wisdom in his voice, and I snort.
“Exactly. I just wanted them to be happy.”
“Wait, hold up. You were only going to ask them because they wanted you to, not because you actually liked them?”
“Well, no,” I say slowly. “They were both nice and pretty, both cheerleaders I hung out with a bunch, but I didn’t have a crush on either of them. The girl I did have acrush on was going with a buddy of mine, so I couldn’t ask her.”
He hums softly at that and I see his hands gripping the wheel tight.
“I already knew you were a good guy, but sometimes you say stuff like that and it reminds me there’s such a thing as too good.”
The butterflies that go wild in my belly?
Yeah, those need to die.
8
CAM
It looks like prom,it sounds like prom, and yup, there’s someone spiking the punch, so it must be prom. There’s even a disco ball spinning as it hangs from the tall ceiling. But it doesn’t feel like it did twenty years ago.
I was heartbroken back then, hiding the true depth of my despair from the few people who knew I’d had my heart broken, and trying to not ruin anyone’s night.
Tonight, I’m tired from a full day where I had to pretend everything was fine.
Itisfine now. Now that AJ and I finally talked the way we always have—excluding the last twenty hours or so.
I couldn’t contain my relief when he didn’t bring up last night’s kiss again, and instead we just chatted. Laughing andjust beingwith him has always been easy,and nothing makes me happier than the thought that we can always be like that.
And for it to stay that way, I can’t help but feel like what we need is to stop this boyfriend charade. No more hand holding, no more little hugs and looking deeply into each other’s eyes, and definitely no more kissing.
As we’re standing there, I’m just about to say exactly that when he takes my hand and interlocks our fingers. They slot in together so perfectly that I know it’s not going to be as simple as just calling this thing off.
I don’t think it’ll ever be simple again no matter how much I wish it could be.
I’ve held his hand for two days, non-stop it seems, and tomorrow night when we fly back home, I’m going to have to get unused to that.
“I see Shane over there,” he says and pulls a little on my hand.
Rendered speechless by how final my thoughts and feelings seem, I can’t do much but follow him.
“There you are,” Shane says as we walk up to the table, and I see Ray is there too.
“The lovebirds,” he cries out with a big smile gracing his face.
It actually feels like my lungs collapse for a fraction of a second, but then AJ’s snorting next to me, pulling a chair out for me to sit, and leading me down as if I were a child.
