I whimper, and when I press myself tighter against him, he squeezes my ass with his big hands and lets out a throaty groan.“Fuck, Julia.”
I feel half dazed, half drugged, half in fucking fantasyland when he finally breaks the kiss enough to rest his forehead against mine. We’re both breathing heavily, and his warm breath fans across my face.
“I’m in love with you,” he whispers. “I’m so in love with you, Julia, that for the past few months I’ve been doing insane shit. I started a fire in my apartment so I could move in with you. I enrolled myself in all your classes. I broke your AC unit. I—”
“What?”
“I said, I love you, Julia. I’min lovewith you,” he says, but his voice is a little louder this time. “Break up with Drew,” he adds. “Break up with him and be with me. I love you.”
My entire body goes still, overloaded with too much to process at once.
“You…didwhat?” My voice comes out raw and confused, and my lips, as if taunting, still tingle. “Youstartedthe fire on purpose? Youbrokemy AC?”
“Yes. And it’s all because I love you, Lia,” he says, eyes burning into mine. “I’m in love with you, and I want to be with you. I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”
My mind swims with the reality that Ace Kelly is saying words I’ve secretly always wanted him to say, at the least convenient time for him to say them. He waited. He taunted. He pushed me away.
But now…now that I’m taken, he suddenly has to have me?
I’m with Drew now. He makes me smile and laugh, and I never feel like I’m waiting on the sidelines for him. If anything, all summer long, Drew was waiting on the sidelines for me. Sure, we’re new in our relationship, but we’re still in a relationship. Tonight, I agreed to be his girlfriend. I agreed to be together. And what I just did—kissing Ace—is wrong on so many levels.
My chest tightens. Ace’s lips on mine. The confession. Thesecrets he’s kept from me. The insane things he evidently did to insert himself into my life without my knowing. Thetiming.
The euphoria of our kiss is gone, and in its wake? Dystopia.
“Ace, this is bad,” I mutter and step back, putting some space between us. “I have aboyfriend. Why are you doing this? Whynow? Why have you been lying to me and doing all this crazy shit? If you started fucking fires, what else have you done? What else have you lied to me about?” I question, and Yoko bounds out of my bedroom, sleepy eyes and his hair all messed up. He walks straight over to my feet and lies down, reading my inability to give pets right now with a keenness Ace is lacking. “Do not tell me your lies also played a part in finding Yoko at Central Park,” I say through gritted teeth. “Do not even tell me I’ve been sitting here thinking it was fate that he ran over to me, but it wasn’t fate at all…”
He grimaces. “Julia, everything I did was because I love you.”
“God, Ace! I feel so…manipulated. I feel so…violated. I feel so—”
“Violated? Manipulated?” His brows pull together. “Julia, come on. This ismewe’re talking about. All I want to do is protect you, respect you, love you.”
“All these years, I’ve sat back,” I say, heat building in my throat. “I’ve watched you date a million fucking girls. And now that I’m with someone—now that I’mhappywith someone—you suddenly decide you want to be with me? You suddenly decide to take over my freaking life by straight up lying to me because you don’t want me to be with anyone else? I can’t believe it, and yet, I can. Youneverliked letting anyone else play with your toys.”
“It’s not like that. I love you, Jules. I fucking love you.” He shakes his head and pushes toward me, but I hold him back with a straight arm.
“Are you seriously mad right now? That I love you?”
“Of course I’m mad at you!” I exclaim. “Not only have you lied to me and done some seriously insane things, but you also just kissed me, knowing full well I’m with Drew!”
“But you kissed me back.”
“I know, Ace! Trust me, I know!” I shout. “Because, apparently, when it comes to you, I’m a little too desperate for your scraps.”
“My scraps? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he questions and his jaw clenches. “Are you fucking kidding me, Julia? You’re my best friend. You’re my world. Everything in my life revolves around you.”
“Are you sure about that?” I toss back. “I mean, come on, Ace. Really think about it. Really think about all the moments when I’ve been the girl on the side when it comes to you. Do you even realize how many moments that is? Do you even realize that for years I’ve barely dated anyone, while you’ve dated pretty much anything with tits and legs?” My hands flop out in front of me as the truth unfurls. “Because that’s my reality, Ace. So, I’m sorry, but you don’t get to do crazy shit to manipulate me into being closer to you because you saw me dating some other guy anddecidenow’s the moment for you toreallysee me.”
“Julia.” He takes a step toward me. “Idosee you. I’ve always seen you.”
“No, Ace. You don’t. You haven’t.” My voice breaks, and I hate it. “When I finally let it go—finally let go of the insane idea that you’d ever want me to be more than your best friend—nowyou want me?”
“Julia, I don’t just want you. I fucking love you,” he says, voice steady in a way that makes my chest ache. “I’m in love with you.”
My heart splinters, but I know, I have to take the hammer to it once and for all.
“Are you, though?” I whisper. “Are you really in love withme…or are you in love with the idea of always having me on the side, waiting around for you?”
