From not hearing from him all night to putting him to bed drunk after seeingthe condomfall out of his pants to his avoidant explanation this morning to skipping the football game we would normally go to together to stopping by to find him already dressed and ready for tonight to coming hereseparately, it’s been one fucked-up moment after another.
And yet…
He’sglowing. His aura is brighter than I’ve ever seen it, and we haven’t had even a second of private conversation. He hasn’t asked if the time is up on our fifteen minutes.
He hasn’t askedmeanything at all.
Since my arrival ten minutes ago, he’s been working the roomlike a politician, high-fiving half the people who walk by and making everyone feel like they’re part of something big. He’s the life of the party as usual, but for the first time ever, it feels like I wasn’t invited.
He’s talking with Blake and Finn about the playlist that’s blasting from the speakers by the stage and joking about “revolutionizing secret society party vibes now that we’re sophomores,” and everyone is eating it up.
Everyone but me, that is.
My brain keeps trying to play it cool, but deep down, the green-eyed monster whispers that he’s lying to me about something. Maybe even more than one something. Maybe some new girl he’s started dating. Maybe two new girls.
I don’t know. I do know I shouldn’t care if he’s dating someone. I shouldn’t. But Ido.
I care more than I’ve cared in a very, very long time.
I clear my throat and force myself to focus on anything but the way my best friend’s brown eyes look like melted chocolate underneath the fluorescent lights of this dingy basement and the corresponding sweetness some skanky girl may have spent Friday night swimming in.
“I wonder what tonight’s big event is going to be,” I say, trying to sound normal and participate in the conversation, like maybe it’ll keep me from spiraling.
Before anyone answers, Ace turns to me with a grin and bumps my shoulder. “Be right back, okay?”
“Okay, weirdo,” I say, playing my part even though my heart feels so heavy it’s sinking out of my chest. I don’t know why I don’t bring it up—it’s not like me to withhold my feelings from Ace. But this whole set of circumstances feels different.
Everything we’ve done for the last few weeks, everything that’s happened…I thought… I don’t know. It felt like we’d turned a corner.
And now we’re speeding blindly in reverse.
He peels away from the group, I assume to schmooze somepeople on the edge of the crowd.Or maybe he’s going to meet his new girlfriend at the door.
But then he heads to the stage in front. And grabs the microphone.
What is he doing?
Finn squints. “What the fuck?”
Ace’s voice cuts through the noise. “I’d like to welcome everyone here tonight. This is our first official Double C event of the year, and while I think we can all agree that our previous leader Lexi’s shoes are big ones to fill, I am fortunate enough to wear a size fourteen. Tighten your seat belts and check your zippers, motherfuckers. It’s going to be one hell of a wild year.”
And just like that, the world tilts a little sideways.Ace is the new Lexi. Ace—myAce—is in charge of Double C. It’s arguably the most the dramatic realization of his very wettest dream to run our college’s secret society—to be the most recognizable, noteworthy student on campus.
And he didn’t bother to tell me.
There are cheers and whistles and some guy yells “President Acer!” like that’s a thing now, and all I can do is stand there and try not to let my face give me away.
I’m hurt. Not a scratch on the surface that heals quickly—a deep, throbbing wound.
He lied to me. Last night, today, and moments ago.
He lied.
Our lives—our friendship—are what they are because of a level of trust most people can’t comprehend. Because of truth-telling and bared exposure of all parts, weak, strong, wicked or otherwise.
As the world turns around us, we are the true north, we are the reset, we are the soul.
At least, I thought we were.
