But by lying to me about last night, by hiding this—whether he was sworn to some secret code of something or not—he’s irrevocably changed the way we operate.
Everyone else is smiling. Everyone else is thrilled. And I’m standing here like an idiot trying to figure out why this hurts so much. I swallow hard, eyes fixed on the stage. An uninvited moisture blurs Ace’s image.
“You good, Jules?” Blake asks, his voice kind.
I turn to him and force a smile so hard it cramps my jaw. “Of course. Just surprised, you know?”
“You didn’t know about this?”
“Nope.” I shake my head, blinking fast. “Just found out right now…with everyone else.”
Scottie, thank God, chooses that moment to turn to me and ask if I want to go to the bathroom. I don’t hesitate. I grab the handles of her wheelchair like my life depends on it and steer us away from the noise.
We push through the crowd, past the halfhearted dance circle and the groups clumped together whispering about President Ace and finally make it to the hall near the bathrooms.
The second we’re alone, I let out ten pounds of air in one forced blow.
Scottie twists to look up at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I say too quickly. “I needed a second. It’s loud in there.”
She nods, not pressing, and I’m grateful. We both go into the bathroom—her into the accessible stall, me into the one next to it—and I sit on the closed toilet lid and stare at the tile.
I’m mad. Not just at Ace but at myself too. Maybe even a little bit at the world.
I shouldn’t care this much. I shouldn’t be thisbothered. But the truth is, deep down, I’ve been waiting on Ace Kelly for most of my life. I’m always the girl on his sidelines, forever waiting for him to notice me enough to put me first.
I’m tired of being the girl waiting around to be hisonlygirl.
Point-blank, I’m tired of waiting.
I dig in my purse to find my phone, the ache of my bruised ego pulsing with unintentional reprisal. I scroll to Drew’s name, eagerto make myself feel better any way I can, but before I can even start to type, a new message buzzes inside the thread.
Drew: Julia, I miss seeing you and doing things with you. I just miss you. I feel like you’re done with me, but I’m hoping that maybe you’ve just been so busy with school and shit… Tell me the truth, babe, have you moved on? Or do I still stand a chance?
Normally, Drew attends Double C events, but I guess he’s missing it tonight. A few weeks ago, I probably would’ve known why, but I’ve slowly distanced myself from him.Because of Ace.
Maybe this message coming right now is a sign. Maybe it’s a chance to rework my choices and start fresh.
Drew has been trying. Really freaking trying. And I’ve left him hanging out in the wind.All because you’ve spent too much time focused on Ace and what Ace wants and needs. All because you’ve been secretly hoping that Ace wants to be more than friends with you.
I stare at the message, thumb hovering, heart and mind racing.
But eventually, I make a decision.
Me: I miss you too. And I’m sorry if it’s felt like that, Drew. I’m so sorry. Things have been crazy lately, but it’s all starting to wind down.
Drew: So…does this mean you’re open to going on a date with me soon?
Me: Yes. Let’s do it.
It’s high time for me to stop waiting around.
Saturday, September 13th
Ace
If campus handed out crowns, mine would be gold, glowing, and studded with fucking diamonds.
