When there wasn’t a response, it confirmed that whoever he was talking to wasn’t someone in the house. I should have gone back into my room instead of eavesdropping, but instead, I just stood there as he kept speaking, his voice a steady, angry thrum throughout thehouse.
“Do you need more money, is that it?... Not more money, you just want me to let him know you’re running low, right?... Again? Running lowagain… How many times is this now? Five? You’ve asked five, maybe six times, to put in a good word for you and I haven’t. I don’t understand why you’d think this time I’d change my mind… I’ve told you, if you want something, call Colin. He might have some sympathy, but Paige and Iwon’t…What?”
There went the mention of Colin and Paige again. Was it his mom? I couldn’t think of who else it would be, especially not when there was a mention of a “him” and “more money” like there could be someone else other than his dad this could beabout.
“That’s not my problem. I told you already I didn’t want to talk to you, but every single time you think I’m joking, you think I’ve changed my mind…” Aaron practically growled. “That’s never going to happen. You think I’ve forgotten how you used to cry on demand around Dad? It stopped meaning anything a long time ago. You’ve overused that card, don’tblameme.”
I didn’t need him to use the “M” word to know it was definitely his mom—hisbirthmom—he was speaking to. Jesus. Was she asking him for money? Who did that? And what the heck had happened to make him so madather?
Suddenly feeling like a little bit of a jerk for listening in on something I knew down to my bones was extremely personal for Aaron, I turned around and headed back to my room, trying to be as quiet as possible as I closed the door and leanedagainstit.
What was I supposed todonow?
I must have stood there for at least half an hour, playing a game on my phone before I straightened and decided to try this again. Based on the tone of voice Aaron had been using, there was no way that that conversation had lasted too much longer. I was only slightly worried as I headed up the stairs, keeping my ears peeled for any noise, but there was none. I made it halfway into the living room when I found it empty, and looking out onto the deck, I found it wasemptytoo.
It was the bowl sitting randomly on the kitchen island that had my eyes zooming in on it. There was something that looked like a piece of paper sitting beside it. As I approached it, I could see scrambled eggs, a biscuit, and a tablespoon of jelly inside of it and everything in me stopped. My heart gave asqueeze.
And the only thing I could think of was that as pissed as he’d been, he’d still made mebreakfast.
Picking up the note, I read the words scribbled on it quickly andsighed.
Have a headache. Going to take a nap. Stay out ofthesun.
Aaron
* * *
At some point,Aaron must have decided he was going to start staring at meagain.
Because that was exactly what he wasdoing.
He’d been boring a hole in my direction from the moment he’d climbed up the stairs late that afternoon, looking beyond exhausted in a way I could tell wasn’t just physical. Max had braved the trip to wake him up after we’d all agreed to go out to dinner that night instead of having anyone cook. I hadn’t been sure what exactly Aaron planned on doing with the scallops, so I hadn’t signed up to make something out of them when I’d never messed with thembefore.
When he hadn’t come up at noon for lunch, when we usually ate, I made him a sandwich with a side of those gross salt and vinegar chips he liked and a pickle, and went downstairs to offer it up to him. He hadn’t answered when I knocked on his door lightly, and in a move there was no way I would have made months ago, I’d opened his door and peekedinside.
Sure enough, he’d been curled up on his side, facing away, sleeping soundly, not a snore, not a whistle, nothing coming out of him except the soft inhale and exhale of his breathing. So I’d left the plate of food on the dresser in front of his bed and tiptoed out, closing the door as quietly as possible. I’d spent the day watching TV, with only a thirty-minute break to walk the beach with Mindy, wearing the giant, ridiculous hat that Aaron had given me to wear the daybefore.
So when he’d finally come up the stairs in his slightly rumpled clothing and gone straight for the newest package of bottled water, I’d kept my eyes on him. He’d barely finished guzzling an entire bottle when those deep brown eyes moved around the room and landedonme.
And they hadn’t left mesincethen.
Even on the car ride to the restaurant—a new one we hadn’t gone to yet—I’d been able to see him glancing at me through the rearview mirror every few seconds. With Max and Mindy in the truck, I hadn’t been ballsy enough to ask him if he was fine. And when we were led to a table, I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, but he’d taken the decision right out of my hands when he’d pulled a chair out, gestured me toward it, and taken the seat directly beside it. The place was loud and crowded, and it shouldn’t have been surprising considering that the Fourth of July was the next day. Over to the far side of the restaurant was a small dance floor with three couples, two-steppingonit.
I could sense Aaron’s gaze on me as I scooted my chair forward and he did the same. Chancing a peek at him, I gave him a smile that was a lot weaker than any I’d given him yet, and he returned it to me, those eyes drilling into mine in this way that was completely new to me. Almost like… I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure at all, because I’d seen every man my mom had ever married look at her the same way. I’d seen my brother’s boyfriend look at my brotherthatway.
And Aaron wasn’t supposed to be looking at me the same. Not evenclose.
We all ordered and ate, with Max and Des taking ahold of the conversation about a sports team I’d never heard of. Meanwhile, I tried to collect my thoughts. Tried to plan what I could tell Aaron when he decided to talk to me again. Would we brush everything off and act like nothing had happened the night before? I wondered, bringing my fork to my mouth. I’d just closed my lips around it when I felt a hand cover my right one. The palm of Aaron’s hand covered the back of my hand, his fingers goingovermine.
This was a good sign,wasn’tit?
With his free hand, he gestured to the waiter who was busy collecting Max’s empty plate. “A doubleplease.”
“Of?” the manasked.
“Anything.”
I shot Aaron a frown as he let out a choppy exhale, his eyes now on his own mostly empty plate. If it wouldn’t have been for the weight of his hand on mine and the thumb moving along the bone that stretched from my pinky to my wrist, I would have asked him if he was fine, but I didn’t want to ruin it, as selfish as thatmademe.
