Maybe…
I looked around again and tried swallowing around the lump in mythroat.
Maybe, I could grab one of the taxis parked along the curb. This wasn’t a foreign country with a language I didn’t understand. I had an app on my phone for booking hotel rooms. Thiswasn’t1940.
My hand shook as I reached into my purse and pulled out my cell, taking it off airplane mode for the first time. That was how pathetic and nervous I was. I hadn’t even bothered taking it off because I’d been dreading getting a message that said plans had changed and I was on my own. It didn’t even take a minute before the icon that showed I had seventeen unread messages flashed on the display, only slightly making my stomachchurn.
But none of them were from the newest number on my phone. Eight were from my mom and the other nine were from Jasmine according to mynotifications.
At the sound of the doors behind me opening, I dragged my bag to the side and took another look around, hoping to see a man standing by himself in a corner I hadn’t seen, looking expectant, or maybe holding up a sign with SANTOS or RUBY on it. Or something.Something.
I could wait a little while. He said he’d gotten a crappy phone. Maybe he didn’t have service, or he was still driving and couldn’t reach his phone to let me know he was runningbehind.
I took a sniff. And I blinked. And then I did both all over again, glancing from side to side, standing on one foot and then theother.
One minute turnedtofive.
Five minutes turnedtoten.
And ten minutes becamefifteen.
My eyes started to sting because I hadn’t slept, I assured myself as I checked the time on my phone one more time. They weren’t itchy all of a sudden because I was feeling abandoned and sick to my stomach at the thought Aaron was going to leavemehere.
Once, before Jasmine had started kindergarten, when I’d been the only Santos left at that elementary school, my mom had forgotten to pick me up. Four o’clock had come and gone, and she still hadn’t shown up. It wasn’t until closer to five, after I’d been sitting on the front steps for close to two hours that the vice principal had come out and spotted me. She’d known my mom for years thanks to my older brothers and sister basically being demons that didn’t shut up, and after asking me why I hadn’t been picked up yet, she’d tried calling my house and there hadn’t been an answer. So she’d offered to drivemehome.
I’d cried on the way, feeling so betrayed that my own mom had forgotten about me. My dad had moved out by that point, and looking back on it now, I understood that that’s why I’d freaked out so hard. Of course my mom had a million other things on her mind and wouldn’t willingly forget to pick me up from school, but it hadhappened.
She never forgot about it and neither had I from the looksofit.
Now, standing there outside the Panama City Beach airport without a single familiar face to reassure me, that forgotten but familiar feeling settled on my lungs and myheart.
I’d been leftbehind.
I sniffed. I blinked. Iswallowed.
More people came out of the building and more cars pulled up along the curb, but not a single one of them was there for me. Not one single car. Notasoul.
I sniffed, blinked, and swallowed some more. My mouthwentdry.
He’d left me here,hadn’the?
A family of four walked passed me, smiling, laughing and joking as they crossed the street, so happy, so freakinghappy.
What had I been thinking? Why hadn’t I stayed home? I was an idiot,wasn’tI?
But why would Aaron buy me a ticket and then not show up to pick me up? Hadn’t I told him I wasn’t sure about coming? It wasn’t like this had been my idea. He’d invited me. I hadn’t invitedmyself.
Tears prickled my eyes, and I honestly felt like something sharp jabbed me in thestomach.
This is what you get for taking a chance, Rube, my brain egged myhearton.
He wasn’t here. He wasn’t coming. He’dleftme.
He’d left me here. He wasn’t coming togetme.
I was so, so, sostupid.Iknewbetter.I freaking knewbetter.
It wasn’t until something cool slid down my cheek that I realized my eyes hadn’t just started prickling, they’d gone for it all. The breath that came out of me was hiccupped and choked.Strangled.
