Yet, here I was, in a vehicle with a man I would have never been capable of fabricating even in my dreams. In a place where I should have felt at home, but didn't any longer.
"This is all too weird," I whispered as we passed the convenience store I used to always pump gas at.
He watched me wearily. After the last half a million hours in the car, of which he drove all, I couldn't blame him for being darn near exhausted. I hadn't napped either but adrenaline and nerves had kept me going. My dad was here somewhere. Some seedy little place with the words Motor Inn at the end.
But we'd agreed to get some sleep before going hunting for the cause of all the recent hell.
"You all right?" he asked in a rough, tired voice.
"Yeah." We passed by the daycare I'd worked at immediately after finishing my last round of radiation. God, this place depressed me. "This is all just messing with my head. I should be excited to be here, but I'm not. I just want to go back to Austin."
Dex nodded severely. "Nothin' wrong with that, babe. KindarelievedI'm not gonna have to drag you back home with me."
I narrowed my eyes. "Drag me?"
"Yeah. Drag you." He huffed. "You ain't stayin' here even if you wanted." Dex paused and glanced over in my direction, those dark blue orbs intent. "I lived in Dallas and I missed Austin every day, even if I didn't miss all the Club bullshit and drama. Don't wanna give you a reason to miss this dump."
This wasn't a dump but I wasn't going to argue that point with him. I knew what he was trying to do. Talk me out of any residual love I had for Tamarac and Ft. Lauderdale. The sneaky son of a gun.
I couldn't help but laugh more to myself thanathim. I'd let him slide, so instead I focused in on what he said about the Widows. "Dex? Why are you even in the club if you don't really care about it? I mean, I know you do all their accounting crap and other stuff with them but I don't think you really...how can I say this? Enjoy being in it, I guess?"
He lifted a hand andtappedhis fingers over his lips in a thoughtful gesture. "Tradition, babe. I'm a legacy. And by the time I got out of county, Lu had already cleaned shit up. Half the Widows were gone, and..." he paused and dropped his hand. His lips pursed in what I'd later on figure was a disbelieving and possibly embarrassed gesture. "Luther had been the only one to offer to help me out once I got back from Dallas, so I kinda owed it to him, ya know?"
There it was. That fierce loyalty. He didn't have a clue how that was the most attractive thing about him. It trumped his face, his ink, his body, everything. Dex Locke was true. He was grounded.
And, I really was in love with him.
“He signed Pins’ first lease and loaned me the money without even thinkin’ about it. Nobody else even offered besides Blake helpin’ with the shop’s license. I help out the Club mainly because of Lu.”
“That was really nice of him.”
“He’s the best man I’ve ever known. Most people don’t see all the good in him because he’s so serious, you know. But Lu’s got his shit together and most of the time, he knows what he’s talkin’ about. Can’t help but listen to him when he says somethin’.Keep your shop separate from the club. Keep your nose clean. Lock that sweet girl down before you regret that shit.So I pay attention. ”
I couldn’t help but grin to myself when he touched the side of my thigh with his last statement. I reached out to touch the side of his thigh in return. The corner of his mouth tipped up at the contact.
"As long as he’s in, I’m in.I like mindin' my own business and he gets that. I'm there when I'm there, and they got enough members to do whatever else I don't wanna. Works out all right every way around."
Even imagining someone trying to get him to do something that he didn't want to, seemed ridiculous. Preposterous. And that thought made me smile. He was who he was and you either accepted it or not.
And then I dropped the smile as soon as I thought of how much of a dick he'd been when we'd first met, any thought of loving him temporarily slippedaway.
Well, I guess it wasn't always so cute, but we'd gotten past that and I wouldn't bring it up.
Knowing he'd lose his mind if I unbuckled my seatbelt, I kissed my fingertips and reached over to press them to his cheek, grinning like a moron because Dex would be amused with the gesture. He didn't let me down, a goofy half grin covered his mouth. "You're one of the best people I know."
He didn't say anything in return, but each time I looked over at him afterward, the pensive look on his face was stained with pure smugness.
We passed by the hospital my mom used to workat, and I was suddenly slammed with the reminder that I'd hopefully be seeing my dad in a few hours. I wondered what he looked like for some reason. Would he still have the same beard? Would he recognize me immediately? Would he think that I looked like my mom?
"Babe, what the hell is that sigh for?" Dex asked.
I groaned low enough that he might have not heard. "I think I'm nervous about seeing my dad for the first time in forever." I sighed. "It feels like the first day of school or something. It might be almost as bad as my first day at Pins."
He flicked both dark eyebrows up. "Nothin' to be worried about," he assured me.
Nothing at all.
Not if he didn't have the money.
