I would always be a worry-wart at heart.
"What do you think the chances are that he has any money?" I asked Dex without even thinking about it.
The sigh he responded with wasn't exactly reassuring. "Pretty slim more than likely, babe."
Not what I wanted to hear. "What should I do if that's the case?"
"We'll figure it out," he said putting emphasis on the first word. "Depends on the situation."
Well. While that wasn’t exactly reassuring, at least I could mentally prepare myself for the truth. I wondered if we dragged Curt Taylor back, whether the gang would call it even. Or maybe…"Know anyone in the black market? I'm sure he could live without a kidney, gallbladder, or lung if he needs to," I said, scared to investigate whether or not I was serious. Something told me I was.
Dex chuckled, squeezing my thigh. "Like the way you think, Ritz."
"You think that makes me a bad person? That I'm not completely opposed to doing something extreme to get this mess straightened out?" It suddenly worried me how nonchalant I was being about the whole thing. Could I really let my dad do something like that? I didn't feel guilty. Not in the least.
"No." He paused for a moment, clearing his throat.“You can’t expect to care about somebody that hasn’t cared about you, babe. It’s only natural. Doesn’t help that he’s a fuckin’ moron on top of bein’ a piece of shit. I think you’ve wasted enough of yourself on him.”
I didn’t say anything as I thought over his words. Because he was right. Every time the old man made an appearance, he was like a harbinger of doom. The man was a human wrecking ball with no regard for others. And it was about time that I let him go completely. “You’re right.”
“Sure am,” Dex agreed with a small snort.
I groaned and leaned back into the seat, trying to relax. To ease myself out of this unholy grip that strained my emotions. “After he sells a few organs, maybe I can finally have a nice, normal life.”
Dex shot me a long side glance, his mouth twitching."Baby, I don't know what you think normal is but you're gonna have a nice, safe life as soon as we get him. All right? You can bet on it." His tone was low, gravelly. He was mad, mad for me—in my honor, and my insides recognized it and thrived on his emotion.
I nodded. "All I want is just to not worry about things for a while." For as long as I could remember it'd been my health, my mom, my health again,yia-yia, raising Will, bills, my lack of employment, and now all of this. I'd skipped the part where some people went to school and focused on that. Where kids got to be kids instead of having to sit through radiation treatments and funeral services.
I wasn't complaining. I wouldn't. But... something so little wasn't much to ask for, right?
"Right now, I'd give my left bicep for my only worry to be whether or not to tell you that I ordered the wrong ink." I sighed.
He groaned, a smile cracking one side of his cheek and mouth. "Shit like that's under appreciated, ain't it?" he asked, letting his fingers drift a little higher up my thigh.
"Everyone takes things for granted, little things, big things—everything."
Dex made a humming noise ofagreement."I learned my lesson in jail. You have any ideahow much I missed my smokes when I was locked up? Drivin' around? Takin' a fuckin' shower without worryin' about gettin' jumped?"
And if by 'jumped' he meant...
Not going there. No, siree. Especially not when I was pretty positive he was trying to connect with me and not scar me for life.
"Learned some patience in there, so I guess I shouldn't complain."
And...it was a miracle I wasn't drinking, otherwise I wouldhave spit liquid all over the dash. "You?Patient?"
Dex huffed. "Yeah."
Cue my snort. A snort that ripped the serious silence we'd wrapped ourselves in. "I don't even want to know what you were like before twenty-five if you think you can say the 'p' word with a straight face."
The sideways look he gave me was a guilty one. He'd definitely been a huge pain in the ass in his younger days. D-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.
I put up both my hands in praise. "Thank heavens I met you as an old man." I winked at him.
~ * ~ *
Weird.
Driving through the part of town I'd grown up in was just plain...weird. Strange. I'd driven down these streets a million times throughout my life. The very last time had been three months ago when I had accepted the fact that my unemployed butt was out of options—I was going to have to move in with Sonny since I'd been so adamant about not going with Lanie to Ohio. Driving to the cemetery where Mom and yia-yia were buried had been my official goodbye. At that time, I hadn't thought I'd ever make it back to Florida. What would be the point? I had no ties left there besides memories that were as good as they were bad.
