“No, baby, you’re not.” Dallas squeezed my fingers between his.
I dropped about four F-bombs in my head as I stood there, not trusting my words. Or his.
And he must have known that because he didn’t wait for me to open my mouth. “I’m your poor bastard and you know it.” He kept tugging on my arm until I stood in front of him, the front of one of my thighs touching his kneecap.
There went another dozen S-bombs and M-bombs as every nerve in my spine lit up like a pinball machine.
Without thinking about what would be the best thing to say next, I made my gaze meet his, like I had every other time we discussed things, and I asked, “Are you sure?”
Dallas was the most constant man I had ever met in my life. His patience, steadfastness, and determination covered every inch of his entire being as he smiled at me. “Positive.” His eyes went from one of mine to the other, even and patient. “Of all the houses you could’ve bought, you got the one across the street from me. Of all the sports Josh might have played, it was baseball and I happened to coach his age group. You were meant to be in my life.”
Those hazel irises went so tender my heart hurt. His whisper didn’t help any. “I know you love me.”
It was one thing to admit it to myself but a completely different thing to say the words out loud. But I said them anyway. “Yeah, I do.” I breathed. “But—”
“No buts.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little even though it felt like my entire future—my life—depended on what happened right now. But I couldn’t stop as I looked over Dallas’s weathered, serious face. “Yes buts. You can love me, but that doesn’t have to mean anything, Dallas. What do you want from me?”
“Everything.”
I sucked in a breath and blinked. Out of all the ways he could have answered, that wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought it would be more of a “let’s date” or “be my girlfriend” or… something.
In that way that was all him, like he knew what I was thinking and feeling, the corners of his mouth came up. But he didn’t say anything.
“Everything. All right. Okay.”
The corners of his mouth curled slightly, and I’d swear on my life he looked just a little nervous. Just a little. “I want you. I want your smile. Your hugs. Your love. I want your happiness.” He paused. “Every single thing.”
Was this what being shot in the heart was supposed to feel like?
I looked right into his eyes and I asked him, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
His mouth stayed in the same smirking smile and he nodded. “One hundred percent.”
“You know I’m crazy.”
“You’re my best friend. I know you’re crazy.”
Why that felt like the best compliment I’d ever been given, I had no idea. But I gave him a serious look. “I’m a jealous bitch, Dallas. Do you understand that? I’m not saying you can’t talk to women or other parents on the team or anything, but if you cheated on me—why are you smiling?”
“If I cheated on you, you and Josh would kill me and bury the body somewhere no one would ever find.” He kept my story going, smiling so wide, his face had to hurt.
I blinked at him and shrugged. “Pretty much.”
“I would never cheat on you. We live across the street from each other, so you’d never have to get jealous wondering where the hell I am or who I’m with. Coaching Josh, we’d get to spend our weekends together. See? That sounds perfect to me.”
I was dying, slowly. Why did it feel like I was picking at threads that didn’t exist?
His mouth perked up even more, so much he was practically beaming.
“I have the boys, Dallas—”
“So?”
I hated when he used my words and tactics against me. He said the word like it was nothing. Like my worry about Josh and Lou wasn’t even a consideration into our relationship or whatever it was he wanted to have with me, and that unsettled me more than anything else he’d said before.
As I took a step back, he let my wrist go and I turned my back to him, reaching for the clippers in one of the drawers. This was happening. This was really happening.
