I shove myself up off the ground, grab the waste basket and stride over to the trash cans to dump the bandages. I’m not going to town to tell them about Julian. The only difference between me and them is that I know what I am while they’re still denying it. Pretending to be good people when beneath the surface this town is rotten to the roots. If I let them know Julian isn’t normal they’d come for him. Even if he was an angel they would stilltry and rip him apart, inch by inch, bone by bone, until there’s nothing left. It’s what they’ve been doing to me for two years.
Fuck that. Fuck them.
I turn to look at the house. Warm golden light pours out from the windows and onto the lawn. It looks safe and welcoming, warm, a place to rest from the world. My instincts tell me I’m wrong and that Julian isn’t an angel but I won’t let them do that to Julian even so. Not even if going back inside means he kills me. Maybe thatwouldmake him an angel? If anything were coming to kill me, it would be an avenging angel like Michael, right? Maybe that’s what he’s here for and he feels bad about it and that’s why he’s been saving me while he looks for a humane way to dispose of the dirty, murdering human.
I let out a deep sigh and head to the back door. I make it up the steps before my body betrays me, it's like my mind finally caught up with the rest of me and I stop moving. I just freeze with my hand on the doorknob.
The urge to run returns with a vengeance. I could make decent time, even in these fucking heels, but where the fuck would I even be running? To the monsters in town? The ones that have shredded me to pieces over the past two years like I’m their own personal hobby? No. I turn the doorknob and take a shaking step inside. I’d rather deal with the maybe monster, possible angel inside. He’s been better to me than any of them. I’m sure he’d even kill me quickly if I asked. It would be over before I even knew it was happening.
And now here I am. With Julian on his knees in front of me, and I don’t understand any of it.
“Are you going to kill me?”
It took me less than ten minutes to ask the question that had been rattling inside of me. I almost didn’t ask it because, you know what they say, never ask a question you’re not ready to have answered but I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to know.
“Kill you? If I had to damn the world to save you, to even be with you for this one night, I would happily do it.” Julian is on his knees in front of me. How it happened, I don’t know. It just sort of did. One second I thought he was about to rip my throat out after he told the Chinese place that we were dating, and then he was just there. Pretty and on his knees like I’m something worth reverence and not the damaged fucked up woman that I am.
Maybe to him I am. The look in his eyes is so pure, the need there, I’ve never seen anything like it. It pulls me in so hard that I can’t stop myself from touching him. I have a hand on his chest, another in his hair. When I move my hand, Julian’s head goes with it. I’m completely in control of him why is he doing this with me?
“I would never harm you. My life is yours, do you understand me? I do not live without you. I would not live if you willed it that way. I am yours and fuck this world if you are not mine.” He grabs the sides of my seat and pulls me closer, my knees dig into his chest and the wooden chair creaks from how hard he’s holding it.
“We’re mates, Maris.”
Mates? Oh my fucking god. What the hell is this man talking about?
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. Mates?”
“Soulmates.”
I jerk my hands away from him like he’s on fire and shake my head. “No, that’s not possible.”
He smiles at me like he hasn’t just told me we’re fucking soul mates. “It is. Everything and every part of my life has brought me here, to you. We are meant for each other. It’s fated.”
“Fate doesn’t know shit,” I tell him and push at his chest. “Fate is wrong.”
“It’s not. It’s never wrong.”
I push again and try to get away. I dig my feet into the floor and push but I don’t move. “Fate is wrong. Fate took my parents from me. It killed them on an empty road and dragged them out to sea. It took everyone from me and left me here alone. Fuck fate.”
Julian lets go of the chair and I shove myself back so hard that I nearly fall back out of my chair. I might have too but Julian grabs the chair and steadies it. The chair is balanced at an odd angle, on its two back legs, with me clinging to the arms for dear life.
“Maris…I’m so sorry.” Julian stands and rights the chair. The second that it’s back on the ground I bolt to the opposite end of the kitchen.
“What are you?”
“You’re right. Fuck fate. It’s never wrong but it is cruel. I should have been here sooner.”
Tears prick my eyes and I grab a knife out of the butcher block beside me. “I said, what are you!?” I point the knife at his uninjured side.” I know you’re not human so don’t even try lying to me. She stabbed you, more than once, I didn’t realize it at the time but she did.”
“She did, you’re right.”
“You should be in the hospital. Not here with me, healed like nothing happened. How did you do it?” I ask him and then because if he’s not going to kill me and I’m practically crying, I add, “Are you an angel?” Julian laughs at that. Like well and truly throws his head back and belly laughs. “What the fuck is so funny?”
“I’m no angel. I’m the farthest thing from an angel, Maris.” It’s with a smile on his handsome face that Julian takes a step towards me. “You should have never been here alone. I’m going to fix everything. From here on out, you are under my protection. I am yours.”
I am yours.
The tears that I’ve managed to hold back break and one rolls down my cheek. Why am I crying? I swipe at it angrily. “Stop right there. Don’t come any closer.” I tighten my grip on the knife. “What did you do to me?”
