“Oh, wow—so many.” We’ve reached the other side of the library now, and even though Zoe’s at least eight inches shorter than me, I have to hustle to keep up. “I’m a huge fan of Sara Cate,” she says. “She writes really sex-positive stuff with plenty of kink and taboo. Her Salacious Players Club series makes me swoon. Nikki Sloane is another great one—I’ve binged her Nashville Neighborhood series at least fifty times. Want me to point out some titles that’ll leave you fanning yourself?”
As much as I don’t want that, I find myself nodding.
Because deep down, I kinda do want it.
Not nearly as much as I want Luke, which is a terrible idea. Seeing him that day at the prison just hammered home why we can’t get involved. Not beyond navigating this pregnancy and a platonic co-parenting arrangement.
But those things aren’t sexy, and they can’t be.
Which is why I let Zoe guide me to the section marked “Romance and Erotica.”
“Here,” she says, pulling one off the shelf. “This is the first book in the Jilted Brides Honeymoon Club series.”
“Series?” Blinking, I take in the cover. It’s perfectly tasteful but promises sinful sexiness within. Skimming the back, I see it’s about a woman enjoying a sexual adventure with her best friend’s older brother. “There’s more than one book about a jilted bride flying to a fantasy sex resort to have her sexual desires fulfilled?”
“Oh, honey.” Zoe grins, handing me two more books. “Trust me—you’re gonna want to read them all.”
It’s been four days since Molly and I touched down in Croatia. My mother stands stoic in the hallway outside her third guest room, one hand resting on an ornate marble pillar. Her Dolce & Gabbana painted-silk kaftan ripples on a breeze from the overhead fan.
“I trust you have everything you need?” She poses the question with the warmth of a hotel concierge. “How are the pillows?”
“They’re perfect,” I assure her.
“And the sheets?”
“Decadent.” They are, that’s the truth. “Nothing quite like European flax linen.”
“So true.”
Drawing a breath, I rein in the urge to embrace her. I ache for a hug, but I know how that goes. I tried it when she met us at the airport. Molly stepped graciously aside as I wrapped my arms around my mother. Mom stiffened like I’d just licked her ear.
“Good night, Mom,” I offer instead.
“Good night, Hazel.”
“Thank you for the lovely afternoon. Molly asked me to thank you again for the incredible lunch.” She went to bed an hour ago, but here I am still hoping to connect with my mother.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Mom’s gaze drifts to the window of her elegant villa perched on a cliff overlooking the sea. “A nightcap, perhaps? Our chef makes a magnificent Gemišt.”
“No thank you.” I don’t know if Gemišt is a cocktail, a snack, or a type of balloon animal, but it’s not what I need now. “I just need a good night of sleep.”
Her gaze skims my face, then softens. “You look tired.”
“It’s jetlag.” Or maybe the fact that I’m twenty-four weeks pregnant. I still can’t believe my mom hasn’t noticed. “I just need to curl up in bed and fall asleep reading.”
“Oh?” Her tone sounds intrigued, but she pulls out her phone and starts scrolling. I’m not sure if I’ve lost her, though she’s making a good show of listening. “Anything I’d enjoy?”
“Erotic romance.” I wait for her head to snap up. For my mother to set down her phone and scold me. Or maybe she’d giggle. Maybe my mother reads saucy romance, too.
It’s this spark of hope that propels me to push. “I’m halfway through reading one called The VIP Package. When we were sitting by the pool earlier, I read this scene where the heroine meets a tall, brooding stranger in the boiler room of the luxury sex resort and it turns out he’s actually the owner of?—”
“Oh, look, darling.” Mom holds up her phone. “The Bozics are having a party tomorrow. Let’s go shopping in the morning to find something you and Molly can wear. They’re very well connected.”
“That’s nice.” There’s a sinking sensation in my chest.
“It is nice. They’d be excellent donors for our children’s charity project.”
“Okay.” I don’t bother masking my yawn. I really am tired, but mostly I’m tired of trying so hard to connect with my mother. “Mom?”
