“What are you doing here?” I bring my hand out of my bag and wrap it back around Abel, a small barrier to the man now standing in front of me, his wide eyes set on the boy I have in my arms.
His face goes slack as his eyes work to take in every inch of our son. I stay quiet, letting him have this moment, this silent assessment of the child we created together during the night our world turned upside down.
When he stops, it’s with tear filled eyes and a shaky hand stroking his beard. Tattoos move and flex on his corded forearm as he sighs, causing my mind to flashback to the night I met him at that party all thoseyears ago.
I thought he was the darkness while I was just a misfit trying to find a way to feel alive. Kor was the light.
What if we’re all just misfits, alive and thriving in the dark while bits of light shine in? Are we running from the light or trying to swallow it whole?
Did Atlas devour Kor? Is that why he’s so…different?
His clearing throat brings my mind back to the present and I swear I see him wipe at a lone tear, “I didn’t realize he was so…big.”
I can’t help the snort that comes out, “Well, he’s nine.”
Atlas nods slowly, as if he’s processing when we both know he already knew how old his son was. We had only been together once.
I shift my hips, the weight of holding a nine-year-old boy getting to me. “Why are you here, Atlas? Didn’t Wylder set you guys up at his house?”
He brings his eyes back up to me and nods, “He did, yeah, I just…I just couldn’t sleep without seeing you again.” Before I know it, he’s standing in front of me, one hand in my hair, pushing it back and tilting my head up for me to look at him. “I can’t believe you’re real. I can’t believe after all these years…I’m touching you again.” His eyes dart over to Abel before finding mine again. “And we have a son.”
I lick my lips and his eyes follow every second. My voice is hoarse when I say, “We do, and I am.”
He leans down and places his forehead on mine. I can feel his body shaking, warm and radiating with tension. “I want to kiss you, Eve. It’s all I’ve been dreaming about for the last ten years. Youhauntme.”
Now my body shakes. My breath stutters and myheart skips a beat as everything in my heart screams yes, but my mind tells me no. It’s so hard to decipher.
“I…”
“Mama?” Abel’s head rubs against my shoulder, and I look over to see his eyes fluttering a few times before they fall back closed.
Turning back to Atlas, I see him still standing as close as before with a small smile on his face.
“I need to get him inside.”
Atlas nods, “Do you want me to unlock the door?”
“Please.” I hand him my keys and follow him up to the porch where he quickly unlocks the front door, opening it to show Wylder sitting in the living room on his laptop. The room itself is spotless, not a shard of glass or a drop of blood that I can see, and I even have a few new pieces of furniture, too.
I wonder what happened to the old ones.
Wylder’s eyes narrow as Atlas follows me inside, but I shoot him a soft smile to let him know it’s okay. “I’m going to go put him down, we had a long day.”
Wyld nods, “I’m just finishing off some work emails, and I’ll be up to bed.”
I begin to head up the stairs but a hand on my back has me turning around to see Atlas standing at the bottom of the stairs with an odd look on his face. “Can I come with you?”
I give him a small shrug, “Just stay in the doorway so you don’t trip on anything.”
We make our way upstairs and I open Abel’s door to hear Atlas let out a sharp gasp behind me. I turn around and raise an eyebrow, a smirk on my lips as I carefully walk over the miles upon miles of toy car tracks that line his bedroom. I tried cleaning them up once but quickly learned Abel was very particular about how the track was supposed to go back togetherand he spent days rebuilding it. Ever since then, I’ll clean everything else and leave the track.
Pulling the blankets back, I gently lay Abel down in his bed, his dark hair falling to the side as he immediately begins to roll and try to get comfortable. I reach down and take off his shoes before fixing the covers around him. It’s pretty much pointless to cover him in them because he’ll probably have his blanket kicked off before I even leave the room.
I lean down and press a soft kiss to his forehead and make my way back out of his bedroom, feeling Atlas’s eyes on me the entire time. When I get back into the hall, I leave the door open just a crack before turning around to meet Atlas head on for the first time since he knocked on my front door.
For a long few minutes, neither one of us says a word. I feel his eyes on me, and I let my eyes wander over him. I haven’t allowed myself the pleasure yet, because I knew it would open the floodgates of emotions I wasn’t sure I was ready to feel. I’m still not – but I can’t hold myself back anymore.
When I met Atlas, he was young, with new muscles and fresh tattoos, his eyes, even dark, still had some light in them. His face was bare, and his skin was free of any blemishes.
