“Thanks for this. I didn’t believe I would ever see Evie again and…not like this.” He sighs and shakes his head, arms flexing as he squeezes the edge of my counter in his fists.
“Not with a kid and…me, you mean.”
He gives me a soft laugh and nods. “Yeah, something like that. I should’ve known, really. Evie never did anything halfway. While we were growing up, she scared me every single day because she just…she didn’t know fear. She just went after what she wanted and hoped for the best after.” He’s quiet for a moment before continuing. “She had this saying…”
“Anything in life worth doing is at least a little scary.”
He nods at me again. “And if it wasn’t scary, it wasn’t worth doing. I didn’t start living like that until after I lost her…” His eyes find mine in the dim kitchen, tears right at the brim, as if he were holding them back from spilling over. “Does she still live like that?”
“She wouldn’t be alive if she didn’t.”
Chapter 20
Eve
It’s well past nine o’clock by the time I pull into my neighborhood, the streetlamps making the modern cottages look almost eerie in the fog that’s beginning to roll through. My playlist plays softly through my car speakers as I pass by Wylder’s house, my eyes catching on the shadow moving back and forth in the living room, the one pacing behind the curtain.
Even from a shadow, I know who it is.
Kortez.
All day I’ve been trying to make sense of it all. My entire life in the last ten years has revolved around the fact that my best friend was killed, and my ex-boyfriend had killed him – but I was wrong.
What does a person do when they fuck up on such a colossal level like I have? What do they do when they have so much riding on what they believe to be true, only to figure out that it’s a lie?
I sigh, pulling into my driveway and parking the car beside Wylder’s pickup truck.At least I’m not alone in this.
My eyes travel up to the rear-view mirror and my son’s sleeping form that’s reflected back at me.
He looks so much like Atlas. I thought it would bother me when I started seeing his father’s features but instead, I realized I liked that he looked like him. I hated the fact that I hated Atlas, but Abel was a part of him I could love wholeheartedly with no regrets. After, I only hated that I didn’t have a part of Kortez, too.
Now, they’re both back. Alive. Whole.Friends.
I don’t have to miss Kortez anymore. I don’t have to cry over what was lost. I can hold him so close to me that he can never disappear again.
And Atlas…I don’t have to hate him anymore. There’s a thin line between love and hate and ours has been blurred for ten years.
My eyes take in Abel as his chest rises and falls, his jacket sliding off his shoulder from where he tried to use it as a blanket.
I hope Abel doesn’t hold the same hate.
I grab my purse and climb out of the car, opening the back door and leaning in to gently rock Abel. “Bel, sweetie, we’re home.”
He bats my hand away as his head turns, grumbling nonsense as he immediately falls back asleep.
I try a few more times before realizing there’s no use and he’s hit a sugar crash from our trip to the ice cream parlor. I’m surprised he didn’t crash sooner. I wanted one more day of just Abel and I before Atlas came into the picture – before Abel started asking questions. We went to the arcade, the trampoline park, out to lunch, to the store for a new Lego set, and then to get ice cream.
Hell, I’m surprisedIhaven’t crashed yet.
Making sure my bag is high up on my shoulder, I unclip his seatbelt and reach in, grabbing him as gently as I can and pulling him up to my chest, heaving with the effort. “Good Lord, Abel, this was a lot easier when you were little.”
I have to readjust him and my bag a little and then I use my foot to slam his door shut, causing him to mumble again in his sleep.
My yard is pretty dark compared to some of the others in the neighborhood since there isn’t a streetlight directly on the edge, so my walk towards the door is slow and measured as to not accidentally trip over my own feet – which I’ve done more times than I care to admit.
I’m only a few feet away from my car when a voice sounds from up on the porch. “Shit, Eve, hold on.”
I suck in a breath, one hand tightening on Abel as the other travels down to my bag and the gun I always keep hidden inside it. I flick the safety off right as Atlas’s face is highlighted by the moon, his short beard and dark hair making his usual tan skin look paler than normal.
