‘Alison said the team is holding off on filming your last scene inShadowlandswhile you’re recuperating,’ he reminded her.
Nina laughed bitterly at that. ‘Oh, I bet they are.’
He frowned at her tone. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I’m contracted, and I’ve filmed ninety-nine per cent of it already. They’re hardly going to restart filming now. If anything, they’ll scrap my last scene. Or use a body double to film it. And that’sifthey don’t cause drama over the fact that I’ve breached my contract.’
‘Nobody with a brain would ever scrap you. Your name is literally selling that movie.’
He was right. But more than her name, Nina had thrown her whole heart into making the film.Shadowlandswas supposed to have been the one that made her career. And then in one night, everything she’d ever deemed important had been cut down. Ruined. Questioned.
And now she didn’t know if she would ever be able to do it again. ‘I’ve worked so hard for so long, and do you know what I’ve only just realized?’ Nina asked quietly.
‘What?’
‘If acting doesn’t work out, I would have given the best years of my life to millions of strangers for nothing but money.’
‘Nina, baby, you’re thirty-three.’ He kicked a stone in his path and sent it bumping ahead. ‘The best years are yet to come, and, though I shouldn’t have to remind you, this guy—’ he pointed to himself ‘—was promised the honour of being your plus-one when you’re nominated for an Oscar. It is going to happen.’
Nina thought it was so strange that an Academy Award had seemed like the most important milestone of her life only a week ago, and now … If she didn’t have acting, she wasn’t exactly sure what the hell she did have. No family. Few friends. ‘Do you know that I’ve never had a boyfriend?’
‘Not technically true. Chad Hardy was your boyfriend.’
‘Chad Hardy and I were set up by our agents to attend six events together and “avoid any comment on the status of our relationship”. That’s not dating.’ Nina looked up, towards Markus’s sleek Jaguar, so out of place in front of the untamed, rolling hills. ‘If I decide not to go back afterShadowlands, I’ll have to start my life from scratch.’
Markus pulled her up short as they reached his car. ‘Okay, what’s going on? Seriously. I know you. Youloveacting.’
She did.
Absolutely.
She loved the stories, loved the filming, loved seeing her fragmented scenes get stitched together to create something wonderful. And, still, she couldn’t voice her darkest fear to Markus, couldn’t tell him that she worried she might never act again. So, she fell back on an easy half-truth. ‘Do you know how many people visited when I ended up in hospital?’
Markus sighed. ‘No.’
‘Four. Four people in the three days I was there. You. Alison, Val, who wanted to know when I could be back on set. And Alex, the producer of the film I was working on.’ Only talking about it made her want to weep. Her stomach roiled with nausea.
‘You didn’t tell anyone what happened,’ Markus argued. ‘Luigi and the gang would have shown up. Michael definitely would have come.’
‘He’s my publicist, Markus. He literally works for me.’
‘Still, that’s another six or seven people right there.’
He was right, of course. She had worked at Luigi’s Italian Restaurant for years as a kid, and Luigi and the staff had become her default family of sorts. But Nina hadn’t called Luigi for one simple reason: she didn’t want anyone to know what had happened. Because then she’d have to explaineverything. And she wasn’t ready. She probably never would be …
‘Who else?’ she asked instead. ‘If people had known, who else would have shown up for me?’
Markus’s silence was deafening.
‘I’m not feeling sorry for myself,’ she said, though she was. ‘I’m just trying to figure out exactly when I gave up everything else to pursue acting. God, Markus, it’s beenfifteen yearsof hustling roles and scavenging the rent money.’
‘Baby, you haven’t scavenged in at least five years,’ he reminded her. ‘And you’ve kept your circle small for a reason. You don’t trust people. And all that aside, rather a few good friends who truly care than a posse who shows up to take pictures of your trauma for their Instagrams. God, Neens, do you know how many people in the world don’t have what we have? And I’m not talking about our fabulous jobs – although God knows that’s enough.’ He tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I’m talking about this.’ Taking her hand, he placed her palm over his heart, kept her hand covered with his. ‘Us.Yes, you might not have a giant family and a swarm of friends who show up when shit goes south, but you have me. And I better be enough for you, biatch. Because you’ve always been enough for me.’
Nina swallowed the emotion, the shame, in her throat. She’d hurt him, she realized. Really hurt him. ‘You’re enough. I’m just panicking. Without acting I don’t have much of a life …’
Markus smiled. ‘You still have acting. You always will. But for now, just rest. Take some time for you.’ He released her and opened the car door. ‘If you need anything – anything at all – you call. I’m close.’ He waved his phone. ‘And I have Maverick’s number now, so if I can’t get here quickly, he can.’
Nina groaned. ‘Markus, donottext him.’
