I am delirious with desperation because it’s not enough. Will it ever be enough? Because somehow I am craving something I believe only he can give me.
His fingers retreat, and his mouth leaves me, and he rests his head against mine, and his tone is hoarse.
“Ask me again, baby girl, now that you are aware of the cost.”
My breath hitches as my body throbs, desperate for some kind of release that I’m guessing only he can give me.
“Will–” I falter as his gaze burns into mine, intense, passionate and angry. The devil’s eyes.
My inner voice is screaming at me as it covers its eyes and wails like a banshee.
‘Ask him!’Screams the impetuous voice inside my head while my heart is pleading,‘He’s the one. You want him.’
My head is waging a huge war with my desire right now, and yet when I imagine not asking him, I already know I’m lost.
He isn’t safe, not even close. He’s not a decent man and doesn’t pretend to be. Loving him would never be safe, never the right thing for a girl like me, but in my heart I already accept that loving him is inevitable.
25
JULIUS
Why am I holding my breath, hoping like hell she asks me? I should have said no and walked away, but that is why I’m here after all. Rose was always going to be my wife, but I never imagined for one second it would be like this. I envisioned forcing her, sacrificing my future for money and locking her away in a mansion while I played hard with other women. Not this. Not this overbearing urge to protect her. To hold her close and keep that smile on her face. It can only be because she is so innocent, and that intrigues me.
Why do I want to marry her and would be crushed if she changed her mind?
She is hesitating. I have driven doubt into her mind, and she is struggling with that.
I was too rough. It had to be that way because I’m not the man of her dreams. I doubt I even figured in her nightmares.
She stares at me as if she’s been caught doing something illegal. Her eyes are wide, frightened and burning with confusion. I am holding my breath waiting for everything tofall into place because this was easier than I thought save for one thing—I want her.
I never expected that. But I do. So much that it’s become the most important thing in my world, and I’m stunned when her hand reaches for my face and she rests her palm against it, her expression settling into acceptance of the situation.
“Julius.” She stares deep into my eyes and whispers, “I’ll ask you again. Will you marry me?”
I don’t even hesitate.
“No.”
Her reaction is instant as tears well up almost immediately, and the devastation on her face is hard to witness.
Her breath catches, and she appears mortified, and it’s only then I drop to my knee and reach for her hand.
“Rose Zaferelli. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
A soft smile accompanies my words, and I sense her relief as she nods, the tears that were of desolation a second ago changing to ones of joy as she nods vigorously. “Yes, Julius. Thank you for asking. I would be honored to marry you.”
It’s as if I’ve been struck by a bolt of lightning as her words hit home.Thank you for asking.
Fuck me, it’s like Satan stealing an angel from heaven. It certainly feels that way. I’m removing Rose from the safety of the convent and dragging her into hell after me. However, it’s better me than the other bastards currently seeking her out.
I am protective of her and want to make her happy, and for some reason, I have a sense of peace that her words deliver me.
As I stand, I wrap my arm around her slender waist andpull her close and this time I kiss her with reverence, softly, savoring the moment, enjoying the experience and with a promise to always put her first and burn the entire world before allowing it to get an inch within her.
When I pull away, it’s surprising how peaceful I am inside. Mission accomplished, but it’s more than that. It’s as if I have been scouring the world all of my life for what I am experiencing now.
“I can’t believe you said yes.” Her eyes shine with happiness, and I wonder how long before that changes. Life with me won’t be easy, mainly because of what I am. It would make a great movie though. The Virgin Nun and The Mafia Boss, but here we are now. It’s happening, and there’s no going back now.
