“Don’t you want to marry me?”
I throw it out there and the way his eyes bore deep into mine steals my breath as he leans closer and whispers, “If you had asked me that two days ago I would have said no. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said maybe.”
“But I’m asking you today.” I smile and I’m surprised when he leans closer, his breath dusting my face. It’s as if my world stops spinning as I freeze, anticipating something I have only imagined before, and as his lips rest against mine, I close my eyes because I am so ready for this.
His finger trails lightly down my cheek, and he whispers, “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met and the sweetest. Why would I destroy that by chaining you to my side for eternity?”
My eyes flicker open as disappointment sits heavy on my heart.
He’s going to say no.
A huge wave of desolation hits me as I anticipate his refusal, and as his thumb rubs against my cheekbone, he whispers, “I am not a decent man, Rose. You told me yourself that is all you want. I am not that man. I am cold, callous, rude and dangerous. I have killed many men and haven’t given that hobby up yet. I seek danger and thrive on it. My business is corrupt, and my future bleak. I am not a decent man, Rose, not even close, so why in the hell would you want to marry a man like me?”
This is so intense, and yet I have never felt so alive. Julius makes life real, to count for something. My heart beats faster, and my smile is wider. My pulse races, and laughter bubbles around my full heart. He awakens unknown desiresinside me and provides companionship outside of anything I have ever had before. He is a protective force in an uncertain world, and I know I’m safe with him.
Being with him is like stepping off a ledge and discovering I can fly. I am alive with him by my side, and he is the piece that has been missing in my life that I never realized was lost.
“Because to me you are already everything, Julius.”
I blink, unsure if I did the right thing in asking him. For some reason, I know in my heart it was the right thing to do, and yet he is hesitating. He is probably regretting ever agreeing to escort me to Washington, and now I have put him in a position he is uncomfortable with.
“If I marry you–” His dark gaze burns into mine, and I hitch my breath.
“It will not be a convenient get out of hell free card. It will be real, a proper marriage, and I’m not certain you can accept that.”
I’m not sure where he is going with this, and I’m shocked when he drops his hand, and I feel it slide up my leg. The skirt I am wearing is pushed up, and as his hand burns against my skin, I experience a rush of heat through my entire body.
“I would touch you, Rose.”
His voice is deep, husky and edged in passion.
“I would explore your body; it would be mine to own.”
I blink, the nerves crashing against a surprising need building inside me.
“We would sleep together, be intimate with one another, and you would bear my children. Have you really thought this one through, Rose, because life isn’t a fairy tale. Not when I’m involved, anyway.”
“I–”
My lips are dry, and I flick my tongue over them, staring at him like a startled fawn at the end of a hunter’s gun.
“I repeat, I am not a nice man, Rose, and you would never be free from me. Is that what you want, to dedicate your life to the devil rather than God because you would be.”
His fingers trace the elastic around my panties, and I gasp, unsure why my body is bending more toward him than away.
“I–”
He leans forward, his lips finding my neck, and as his teeth bite into the flesh, I freeze.
I never realized hearts could beat this fast, and as his tongue trails a path down my cheek, his fingers push through the barrier, rubbing hard against my pulsing clit.
“Julius...” I don’t know why I said his name, almost to remind myself that he is really doing this, and before I can object, his lips grab hold of mine in a surprising attack.
His kiss isn’t soft; it’s hard and demanding, passionate even.
As his tongue crashes into my mouth and tangles with mine, a small moan escapes me. My body is wired as he pulls me closer, devouring my lips in a hard, brutal onslaught.
For some reason I love it and reaching up, tangle my fingers in his hair as I kiss him back. God only knows how I match him, but I do. My first kiss — and what a kiss this is! With a man like Julius Ravera who never figured in my wildest imagination.
