I’ll carry it with me forever.
And staring at Ziggy, watching the way he fights against the same pain I’m living with, I have a feeling he knows exactly where I’m coming from. He might not want to tell me right now, or ever, but he doesn’t need to.
Like I told my brothers, Ziggy communicates without words. His family have messed with him too.
So fuck Hart’s plan.
If this is going to work, we have to trust each other.
I’m going to give Ziggy all of me.
Give me a hot date, Ziggy, and sex under the stars, and I’ll be a happy, happy man. I get back to town with a smile on my face, ready to get a full day’s work in before Ziggy shows up later.
I’ve never felt this optimistic about the future, which is saying something, considering that’s my default. Ziggy has made my heart sprout wings, and if he ever clips them, I’m going to be devastated.
“Fun night of sex?” Hart asks, hunched over the paperwork on the floor in front of him.
“I got taken on a date.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “Like … to a restaurant?”
“Nope. Picnic under the stars. Where Ziggy told me to stop being weird and backing off and that he wants the obsessive, over-the-top side of me.”
“Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for.”
Normally, that kind of comment would put me on guard and question my decision. Not today. “Or maybe I’ve found someone—finally—who actually wants my company.” Then, because I’m still raw from last night, I add, “You know. Like you used to.”
Hart looks at me through hooded eyes. “When did I ever want your company?”
“Be a dick all you want, we used to be close. Same with Huddy.”
He doesn’t answer, and normally I’d let him get away with it, but not this time. Apparently, letting everything out at once has ripped off the guardrails.
“Actually, fuck you.”
That gets his attention.
“And fuck Hudson too.”
“What did I do?” he asks from the doorway, and it looks like he’s joined us right on time because I’m done with the both of them.
“It was bad enough when Mom and Dad left us to fend for ourselves, but at least I had you guys. Then you left me too, and I don’t know what I did wrong, but I needed you both. And maybe I blame you a bit for me going into relationships too strong, especially when you tease me for it, because I’m just trying to not feel so lost and alone.” I jab my finger at the ground. “And it was the two of you who made me feel this way.”
“Shit, Kenny …” Hudson starts, but I actually don’t need to hear it. I don’t need anything from them unless it’s genuine, and I don’t think yelling at them until they apologize will get me what I need.
I’m breathing like a bull, but the sound of a car outside saves me from talking about it any further.
“I’ll go see who it is.” My voice cuts through the silence, and the heavy stomp of my boots through the empty house follows it.
When I get outside and see Caroline’s shiny silver Prius pull up, my footsteps don’t slow.
“Morning,” I call to her as she climbs out.
The smile that reaches her eyes is bright, hopeful, and it’s like a gut punch. No matter what I’ve said in the past, Caroline is stuck on something between us. It tells me I’m making the right call. “Hey, Kennedy, I brought you breakfast. Your favorite.”
“Nice. Come walk with me.”
She hurries to lock her car and catch up with my broad strides. “You’re in a good mood.”
