I cry out, and he pauses to soothe me before he goes again. He continues like this, striking and comforting. There are no more words between us. Just moans, whimpers, and feral grunts—the pulsing music that keeps beating with an insistent, ritualistic pulse.
I feel his desire grow along with mine as he puts in more force and lets out primal sounds of power and desire. It pulls medeeper into the trance. It’s almost too much, the pain, the heat, the intense music, and this heady power exchange. I can’t take it, yet I want more. I want to drown in it—let it all sweep me away in the flood. And so I let it. I forget everything. My modesty, my surroundings, and whatever boundaries I thought I had. All I feel is the flogger, the man, and the music.
The intensity keeps building and building until I can’t contain it. I start screaming with each blow of the flogger. But it’s not out of pain or desperation as much as it’s the pure overwhelming sensations that need an outlet.
A slow shaking sets in. It starts in my arms, then spreads through my whole body. I feel something coming. Maybe a breaking point. I think I might even want it, but at the same time, confusion sets in. Suddenly, I have no idea what I’m doing or how any of this happened. Tears break from my eyes, dripping down my cheeks, and I start sniffling.
Asbjörn stops flogging me and reaches up to one of the wrist cuffs.
“Wh-what are you doing?” I ask.
“You’ve had enough,” he says softly.
Part of me badly wants to go on. The pain is barely even there anymore. It’s just wave upon wave of deep heat. A drug I’m already addicted to. But at the same time, I can’t take any more. I can’t even find it in me to beg him to continue or tell him he’s right. Suddenly, I just want to collapse.
He frees both my hands, then wraps a strong arm around my waist and lowers me to the floor. The shaking intensifies as he curls me up in his arms and holds me close.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening,” I whimper, trying to straighten, but he bands his arms tighter around me and leans his head against mine.
“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let me hold you.”
Once again, I let go. I have no other choice as the shudders rip through me. It’s a bit strange, being so close to him—a stranger—but it also feels good. Strong and safe. So I sink into him and let him hold me.
It takes a long while before the shaking fades and I finally lift my head, drying a few tears from my cheeks.
“Is this normal?” I ask, a bit shocked at my reaction. And not just the drunken fuzziness and the loss of inhibition. The shaking and the propensity to tears too.
“Sometimes. If the scene was intense. And I daresay this one was. It was your first time, and you went quite deep.”
“Subspace? That’s what you called it?”
“Yeah. It’s rare to go so deep the first time. I very much enjoyed it.” He strokes the back of a finger over my cheek. “I think you did too.”
I bite my lips and nod.Very much.
Asbjörn smiles—a warm, disarming smile that makes it so easy to keep my defenses down and sink back into him. But as I’m about to do so, I notice someone on one of the sofas across the room. I freeze at the sight of Ulf, who’s sitting on the same couch as before.
Heat spreads over my face and down my neck and chest, and my voice goes shrill. “Did he see the whole thing?”
“He did. And I believe he enjoyed it very much.”
“No. That’s just… Oh God.” Shaking my head, I burrow it in my hands.Not him.I was moaning, even screaming, losing all inhibitions.
Steps sound through the room, the volume of the music lowers, and then the steps approach. I press my hands tighter to my face and sink into Asbjörn with an urgent need to hide.
Someone—him—sinks to his haunches beside us. His presence is as sharp as his stare, a charged energy that dominates the very air and wraps around me. My breathingquickens, and I start shuddering again.Shit,I can’t take any more. It’s bad enough knowing that he saw it all. And now he’s here, in our intimate space. I want to scramble out of Asbjörn’s arms to get away, but at the same time, Ulf’s energy draws me in, making me want to stay and bask in it.
Unfamiliar hands encircle my wrists. They’re huge, calloused, and so damn gentle I want to crumble. They slowly pull my hands from my face, and I let them. I’m breathing hard when I come face-to-face with Ulf’s unyielding gaze. The effect is even more startling up close. I damn near lose the ability to breathe, and my entire body stills, caught in the spell.
He doesn’t say anything; he just trails his eyes over my features, soaking up every bared emotion and flicker of stark vulnerability.
Slowly, he lowers my hands to my lap. Then he presses his palms to my cheeks, leans in, and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. He lingers, the heat of his lips seeping into my skin, the long braid of his beard caressing my nose. It’s like a spell. A blessing. My eyes fall shut, and everything disappears—even the man who’s still holding me tight. For a moment, I’m levitating. And when Ulf releases me, I stagger, wavering on unsteady ground. I cling to Ulf’s gaze as he gets up, afraid I’ll crash if I let go.
He locks his eyes onto me as he says to Asbjörn, “Take care of her.” Then he gives a slow nod as if saying it’s all okay—he’s pleased with me.
I part my lips, feeling like I should say something—anything—but Ulf stops me with a slow shake of his head. He watches me for a beat longer, almost like he’s checking if I’m okay. Then he turns and leaves.
I stare after him, stunned and awestruck. The way he kissed me felt ceremonial. An anointment. Like I’ve been grazed withdivine approval. I want more. But I can’t have it. I know it as surely as I know the sun will set.
