Mattie plunged her hands into warm water and groaned in relief. Only when she reached for a towel, did she realise that Nell was kneeling on the tiled floor to undo the laces on her boots. It felt oddly intimate, and after the drama of earlier, she wasn’t sure her nerves could take any more. “I can do that,” she said to the back of Nell’s head.
“It’s done now.” Nell pulled off the boots and examined the grime on them. “That’ll sponge off. Your socks will survive too, once they’ve had a hot wash.”
Mattie jerked away when Nell peeled off one of the dirty socks. “Nell, please stop and listen to me.”
Nell did as Mattie asked but kept her head bowed.
“For the second time today, I need to apologise to you.” Mattie puffed out her cheeks. “I totally misread the situation and got carried away. I shouldn’t have even thought of?—”
“No, no, don’t say that, please.” Nell finally lifted her head.
Mattie flinched at the anguish on her face.
“You didn’t misread anything. I just...lost my nerve.” Nell’s gaze shifted away. “It’s been a very long time since...anyone.”
Relief flooded Mattie. “I was worried I’d offended you again.”
“No. Quite the opposite.” Nell soaked a flannel in the warm water and handed it to Mattie. “For your legs.”
At least Nell hadn’t tried to wash them herself; that would’ve been too much to bear. Mattie rubbed her shins until the skin was lobster pink and the smell of lavender soap replaced the sour odour of rotting rubbish. “That’s better.” She tensed when she met Nell’s lingering gaze. It was full of desperation and longing. For her? Hope flared all over again.
“It’s been quite a day,” Nell whispered.
“Quite.” The silence hung heavy and charged. Mattie held Nell’s gaze. Dare she move closer? She inched forward, near enough to feel Nell’s breath on her cheek. Nell didn’t retreat, butMattie wasn’t going to risk any more mistakes. “I need you to be sure. Do you think this is a good idea?”
“For once, I would really likenotto think. But if you think we shouldn’t...” Nell’s jaw clenched, as if steeling herself for rejection.
No, Mattie couldn’t bear that look. It had to go. She closed the remaining gap and brushed her lips over Nell’s, brief and feather-light.Lovely. Then she pulled back to check that Nell was okay. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled. Mattie cradled her face and kissed her again, firmer and fuller this time. Warmth flooded her as Nell shyly responded.
“Oh,” Nell hummed, when they finally came up for air.
Mattie stroked her cheek with the tip of her finger. “What are you thinking now?”
“I still really don’t want to do any thinking.”
Mattie’s heart thudded. “Shall I do it for us?”
Nell’s face flushed. “Yes, please.”
“I think we need more kisses.” Mattie teased her tongue along Nell’s lower lip and tasted ice cream and sweetness. Nell let her in and they kissed, slow and deliberate. Mattie trailed her hands to the curve of her hips. “I think I’d like to take you to bed. I also think we should go there now because otherwise, I’ll have you right here and now against the hallway wall.”
Nell giggled.Giggled. Dear god, how cute was that? Mattie’s body sang and danced in delight at it all as she let Nell lead the way to the bedroom. Nell’s fingers clung tightly to hers, and Mattie caught the vulnerable look flittering across her face.
“I think we’ll take it slowly,” Mattie whispered as they stood next to the bed. Nell smiled shyly as Mattie ran her finger along Nell’s collarbone and pulled the T-shirt’s neckline aside. “I’ve been desperate to kiss these freckles since the first time I saw them.” She traced them with her lips, but the T-shirt blocked her progress. “This needs to come off.”
Nell pulled it over her head and dropped it to the floor, followed closely by her bra.
Oh, dear god. Full breasts, even more amply gorgeous than Mattie had imagined them to be. She reached out and stroked their shape and felt Nell’s tremulous response. When she rubbed her thumbs over Nell’s nipples, they hardened, and Nell gasped. “I think you like that.”
Nell tipped her head back. “You’re exceptional at thinking.”
Mattie nuzzled Nell’s neck. “Why, thank you. I’ll do some more thinking on our behalf.” She delighted in Nell’s shiver as she trailed kisses along the swell of Nell’s breast. When she replaced her stroking thumbs with her mouth, Nell bucked her hips. Christ, how had Mattie lived without this? She revelled in licking and sucking, greedy for more. Clearly, Nell was discovering her confidence, because her hands were roaming too, around the curves of Mattie’s hips and down the front of her shirt. Only when fresh air tickled her stomach did she realise that Nell had undone the buttons and was about to push her shirt off. She jerked away. “Don’t do that.”
Nell’s face flushed, and she wrung her fingers together. “Sorry, I—I thought you wanted this.”
“Oh god, I didn’t mean...” Mattie shook her head, embarrassment replacing her desire. “I do want this. I should have thought it through.” And why hadn’t she? Because she’d got swept away in the moment. Everything with Nell had felt natural and so very right, until the moment when reality came crashing back. She turned away to hide her sudden tears.
Nell cupped her chin. “Tell me what’s wrong, because I don’t understand. Did I do something I shouldn’t have?”
