Mattie cast another furtive glance at Nell, who sat bolt upright next to her in the back of the cab. Nell hadn’t spoken a word beyond telling the driver her address. The seat belt was on the verge of strangling her, but Nell seemed oblivious. She glared out of the window, jaw set, long pale neck slanted to the left.Fuck. Mattie had started the day needing to apologise to Nell, and now it was ending, and she needed to do it again. Why hadn’t she managed to stick to looking and not touching?
“I’m sorry,” Mattie whispered, conscious that the cab driver might overhear. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t,” Nell said, her voice was monotone and distant.
Mattie sat on her hands to resist the urge to reach out to her. “You’re clearly upset.”
“I am.” Nell swivelled to face Mattie. “With myself.” Then she turned back to the window again, her body rigid.
What did that mean? Was Nell regretting passing their moment up? Or wishing she’d never agreed to spend the rest of the day together? Mattie had been so sure that Nell wanted to kiss just as much as she had, and she’d nearly missed that last-moment shake of the head.Don’t, it had said. So she’d respected Nell’s wishes and dragged herself away.
When the cab pulled up outside Nell’s house, Mattie waited while Nell handed the driver twenty pounds and waved away the change. “Can we talk, Nell? Please?”
Nell opened her mouth to answer, but an odd scraping sound interrupted her. Mattie turned and saw an elderly man struggling to wheel a large black rubbish bin off his driveway.
“Oh, hell, it’s bin night,” Nell muttered. “Let me help you, Ronnie,” she said, raising her voice.
He squinted at her through his thick glasses. “Nell?”
“Yes, it’s me. I’m back later than I expected, but you know I always do your bins for you.”
“I wasn’t sure,” he said, his voice shaking. “You weren’t home.”
Mattie watched as Nell played the role of supportive neighbour. Despite her mood in the car, she was patient with him as she parked the wheelie bin at the edge of the pavement while Ronnie used it as a walking support. Then she offered her arm, and he tucked his hand into the nook of her elbow.
Ronnie shuffled forward. “The compost bin still needs doing.”
Mattie pointed at the small brown cubby bin sitting on the front doorstep. “That one? I can do that for you.”
“Oh, do be careful, the handle’s?—”
“Broken,” Mattie said, as a week’s worth of potato cuttings, mouldy tea bags, and congealed bits of indistinguishable rotting foodstuffs tumbled out of the box and onto her shins and feet.Fuck. It was a perfect metaphor for this evening’s events.
Ronnie looked mortified. “Oh dear. I’m so very sorry.”
Mattie flicked a lump of congealed tomato off her leg and tried not to gag.
Nell glanced at Mattie and mouthed, “Give me a minute.” Then she turned to Ronnie. “Let’s go inside, and then I can get some gloves and clean this lot up.”
The minute felt like fifteen. Mattie had an almost unbearable urge to rip leaves off the nearest bush and use them to wipe the grunge off her skin.
Nell finally reappeared with a pair of pink rubber gloves, a cloth, and a bin bag. “Ronnie is so embarrassed about all this, bless him.”
“Bless him” wasn’t the sentiment at the forefront of Mattie’s mind as she took the cloth from Nell and wiped her muck-splattered legs. “Christ, this stinks. So do I.”
“I’ve smelled better.” Nell’s lips twitched. “This is a slightly surreal end to the day.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” Mattie’s lips curled into a reluctant smile. “I’m sure I’ll be able to twist it into a funny party story, but I’m not at the ‘this is hilarious’ stage quite yet.” She looked at the mess on the pavement and sighed. “I’ll hold the bin bag open while you shovel everything in.”
“Thanks.” Nell set to work. “It should’ve crossed my mind that he’d try to do the bins by himself. As you saw, he’s not the most stable on his feet. He lost his wife, Alice, last year, and he’s not been the same since.”
Okay, maybe “bless him” was the correct sentiment after all.
Nell knotted the bag shut and flung it into the bin. “Come back to mine so I can help you clean up. Then we can talk.”
Mattie followed Nell inside but loitered on the doormat. “I’ll make everything dirty.”
Nell pointed at a low pine unit that doubled as a bench and shoe storage. “Take a seat on there. I’ll get some soap and towels.” She returned with a bowl of soapy water and a handful of towels. “Wash your hands in here.”
