“Anyways, figured I should let you know I’m leavin’.” Jesse turned away and slipped silently up the hallway.
Frozen, Matt watched him go, his wolf twisting and turning and snarling in his need to follow his mate. This was what he wanted. This was whathadto happen.
This was right. He had no other choice.
JESSE
He’d hardly slept last night, anger simmering inside him, though he wasn’t sure if he was madder at Matt or at himself. He’d stayed too long, relaxed too much.
But the minute he heard Matt’s words and realized he was nothing more than aloose endto Urban, his anger had found its target. Maybe he shouldn’t let Matt know how mad he was, showing the man that he had the power to affect Jesse. Maybe he should have just picked up his duffel and walked out without saying anything, keeping his pride intact.
But when he’d heard those words, seen the way Matt was simply going to carry on as ifnothinghad happened, his temper had roared out. He wouldn’t let Matt get away with acting like thekiss had meant nothing. Not when it had felt like it was changing Jesse’s world.
But he’d run into the brick wall that Matt Urban erected against the world, and the collision had hurt like hell. He was done. Getting out, getting his head back on straight and moving on with his life.
He snatched up his duffel from his room and headed for the front door.
With the part of him that was always on the alert, Jesse realized someone was coming up behind him, fast. His heart thudded as he reached for the door handle, needing to get to where there was space, where he couldn’t be trapped.
But a strong hand closed around the handle before he could grab it, preventing him from opening the door. Jesse’s heart rate hit overdrive as he flinched away from Matt.
“What thefuck?” he demanded, mad as hell to find it came out breathlessly. “Get out of my way.”
“I can’t—” Matt’s voice was raw.
Oh, fucking fantastic. It was last night all over again. Except this time, Matt wasn’t just avoiding his gaze—he was shaking, faint tremors running through him. Jesse didn’t know what the hell was going on, but Matt was clinging to his self-composure by his fingernails.
Jesse needed to leave, to get out of here. But his body wouldn’t move, like it had its own damn mind. Like the wolf inside him had made its decision without him. And that decision was Matt.
He rationalized it quickly. If Matt didn’t want to let him leave right now, he wouldn’t be able to fight his way past him. And maybe—maybe he’d finally get to find out what the hell was going on with Matt. Why he so obviously wanted him but kept pulling away.
He set his duffel down on the floor, forcing his muscles to relax, and Matt’s unforgiving grip on the handle slackened. But Matt wasn’t letting go, and he stood between Jesse and freedom. The silence lengthened, and Mattstillwouldn’t look at him. There was something really wrong with him.
“What’s goin’ on, Matt?” he asked, keeping his voice soft because he was kind of scared of what might happen if he didn’t. If Matt might break. “You said you can’t, but that’s not exactly an explanation.”
Matt turned away, and Jesse thought he’d said too much as Matt walked toward his den. But then he glanced back over his shoulder, and Jesse realized he was expected to follow.
Chapter Fifteen
JESSE
The small dark room seemed to suit Matt’s somber mood. Not that Matt was ever sunshine and kittens, but right now his jaw was tight, his eyes dark, and it was like—it was like someone had died.
Jesse cautiously sat in one of the leather armchairs while Matt paced to the window. He looked out a long time, finally turning to face Jesse. The light behind him made it impossible to see his expression.
“I didn’t mean to treat you like you’re nothing, Jesse,” he said at long last, his voice scratchy, as if something were in his throat. “You don’t deserve that, and that’s not how I see you.”
At those words, something wound tight in Jesse loosened, something that had felt like anger and tears combined. He could breathe deeply again, for the first time since they’d kissed.
“So what’s goin’ on?” he repeated, keeping it gentle, not demanding.
“Like I said, I can’t be with anyone.” He closed his mouth almost before the words were fully out, like he was keeping back what else he might have said. He paused. “It’s not your fault. It just is.”
“Just is, huh? Why? You ain’t hard on the eyes, and your pack seems to like you just fine.”
“That’s because they don’tknow.”It spilled out of Matt, and his voice cracked.
With a sigh so deep it sounded like it came from hell, he sank into a chair. His elbows were on his thighs, hands hanging loose, his head down so Jesse still couldn’t read his eyes.
