For a second, they stayed still, breathing the same air. Jesse’s lips parted slightly, and that was all it took.
Matt kissed him. And Jesse met him with the same hunger, the same need. The sound he made was low and desperate, and it destroyed any last control Matt had left. Jesse’s mouth was hot, tasting of coffee and something else, something that went straight to Matt’s head like a shot of whiskey. Their kiss wasn’t a careful exploration, getting to know one another—it was a wildfire, uncontained, burning fast and reckless.
Matt crowded him back against the counter, needing more, closer, skin and heat, andJesse. Just as desperate as Matt, Jesse’s fingers were under Matt’s shirt, digging into his skin hard enough to bruise. TokeepMatt there.
Something hot and wild ran through Matt’s chest, an instinct deeper than reason.Mine.Mate.
The realization slammed into him, white-hot and undeniable. Matt wrenched away, heart pounding.No.
Jesse was staring at him, eyes blown, chest heaving. He looked just as wrecked as Matt felt. As if he, too, had experienced the same loss of control, loss ofself,until all that had been left wasthem.
“I can’t,” Matt said hoarsely. The words shredded his throat on the way out. Turning on his heel, he strode out of the house.
His wolf fought him every step of the way, remembering Jesse breathless from their kiss, remembering how right it had felt. And now Matt had left his mate alone. Bereft.
But he’d had to. Theycouldn’tbe together as mates. Jesse made a joke of Matt’s self-control, made him want to throw away every rule he lived by, just to take, to keep. And Matt knew what happened when an alpha lost control. Whenhelost control. People paid the price.
It had been easy before Jesse. Before those sharp blue eyes that seemed toseeMatt the way no one else did, the stubborn defiance that Matt both cursed and was in awe of.
AndJesse didn’t want this.He’d made that painfully clear—no alpha, no pack. No mate. He didn’t evenknowthey were mates. He’d just thought they were going to have sex.
Matt had screwed this up worse than he could ever have imagined, just by letting his control slip for a few moments. If he gave in completely? God only knew what disaster would follow.
Matt stripped off and shifted, bolting into the night. Away from what he could never have.
JESSE
For a disbelieving instant, Jesse had been given everything he’d wanted. Matt’s mouth, the sound he’d made, the heat of his hands—it’d been even more than he’d dreamed. It had felt right deep inside.
One minute, Matt’s warm, strong body was pressed against his, Matt’s mouth driving him out of his mind with need. And then, Matt had yanked backwards, horror on his face.
Without another word, other than a raw “I can’t,” he was gone. Leaving Jesse confused and alone. So fucking alone.
It was an ache deep inside him. It felt—Matt wasn’t just refusing to sleep with him. It felt as if Matt wasrejectinghim. In the space of one short day, Jesse had gravitated toward Matt like a flower to the sun. And now the sun had gone, and all that was left was darkness. And if he wasn’t so fuckingdevastated,he’d have been embarrassed by his brain being so damn fanciful.
He was still standing in the kitchen like a poleaxed ox, where anyone might come in and see him. He didn’t know whatthe expression on his face was, but he knew he was swallowing hard and there was a lump in his throat. He had to get away.
Safely behind the locked door of his room, he slid down to sit on the carpet and banged his head back against the door, infuriated with himself. What the hell had he done wrong? He replayed the kiss, over and over, searching for the moment where he fucked up.
He still didn’t understand how it had felt sogood.It was just a fucking kiss.
Had he come on too strong? Not been submissive enough for an alpha? Had he completely misread everything, and Matt had never been interested?
No—Matt had kissed him back. Matt had been just as desperate, just as lost in it as Jesse had been. Until he wasn’t. Until he’d pulled away like a wolf scenting a trap, and bolted.
Realization hit him like a punch. It wasn’t Jesse who’d caused the problem. It was Matt.
Well, if Matt wanted to walk away from this—fine. That was on him. Jesse wasn’t going to take the blame for wanting something for once in his damn life.
Jesse unpacked his duffel in short, jerky movements, checked he had everything, and folded it all up again, ready for tomorrow. He had no intention of leaving in the gathering darkness when there might be a hostile pack out there searching for him, but tomorrow morning, Matt Urban could say whatever the hell he wanted—Jesse was gone.
But not before he’d given that goddamn alpha a piece of his mind. His eyes were stinging, and his breathing grew unsteady as he zipped the duffel closed. Fucking Urban and his fucking perfectfaceand his fuckingpack.
He wasn’t sticking around to get crushed under someone else’s bullshit. Matt Urban could choke on whatever it was he couldn’t say.
Jesse had survived without anyone before. He’d damn well survive this too.
Chapter Fourteen
