“You’re not dumb.”
“You were never going to see me as anything more than a kid brother, were you?” He pushed away from the desk, the rolling wheels gliding across the wooden floor. Leaning forward, he braced his elbows on his knees. He let out a long, deep breath and eventually lifted his head so he could look me in the eyes. “Were you?”
“You’re too young for me, Ash.”
“Sawyer isn’t that much older.”
“Sawyer is twenty-eight. That’s eight years older than you. And even if Sawyer wasn’t in the picture, you know it would still never happen.”
Asher sighed. “Yeah, I know. But I think you need to know that even if it did, you’re not like him.” He motioned to the computer. “You’re nothing like that skeezy guy. You were barely out of high school. You were vulnerable, and he saw that. You… you’d never, ever prey on someone the way he preyed on you.”
“That means a lot to me, Ash.”
“I guess I owe you and Sawyer a massive apology.”
“You sure do.” I stood, walked over to Asher, and scooped him up off the chair into a hug. “But not today. How about you go find Jax and Blue, and I’ll send the three of you the early cutthat River did. You can all watch it together while I go find my boyfriend.”
Asher pulled out of the hug. “Boyfriend, huh?”
I reached for him, ruffling his hair. “Yeah. Boyfriend.”
I put my hands on his shoulders and stooped down a little to get on his level. “I want you to know that you’ll always have a friend here, Ash. A brother. We weren’t ever going to be anything else, but we will always be family.”
The wind rushed out of me when Ash launched himself at me, wrapping his arms around me. A few more muffled apologies came, and I patted him on the back telling him not to worry about it.
Worrying was my job, and the longer I went without hearing from Sawyer, the more my concern grew.
“I’m going to go.” Asher pulled out of my arms and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He still looked contrite and a bit lost, and a whole lot too young for me.
“I’ll tell Jax and Blue to be expecting a call from you.”
Asher narrowed his eyes at me. “I know what you’re up to.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” I lied. Jax and Blue would be good for Asher. They were both a little older than him, Jax more so than Blue, and they had good heads on their shoulders. They’d be good influences on him.
Asher started for the door but turned and gave me a lingering look. “You know,” he said eventually. “I meant what I said. You’re nothing like him.”
“Thanks, kid,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. When he didn’t leave, I arched an eyebrow at him. “Anything else?”
“You should tell the guys about your dyslexia. It’s not like they wouldn’t understand. Your whole book, Lukas, it’s all about how you were fucked over when you were young, and then the strides you’ve made as you’ve gotten older to do better, to be theopposite of the example you were given. And, well… hiding your dyslexia from everyone is something the young Lukas had to do. But you’re not in that same place anymore. The people around you wouldn’t seek to exploit you with the knowledge. They’d want to help.”
“You probably have a point, but they’ll find out when the book comes out.”
He frowned at me. “Tell them sooner, Lukas. Let them support you the way you support them.”
“How’d you get so smart all of the sudden?”
The sheepish expression returned to Asher’s face, and he rocked back on his heels. “I did a lot of growing up today.” He paused. “Can you tell Sawyer that I’m sorry?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.” As soon as I saw him. I’d only just seen him, but it felt like a month had elapsed since that morning.
Asher left, letting himself out the front. Lara padded into the room and groaned as she lowered herself down onto the floor.
I called Sawyer again, and again I got no answer. Worry washed through me, but then another number made my phone buzz with a text message. It was from Eugene, and he’d sent a picture of a sleeping Sawyer and then a message that readget your ass over here.
I responded so fast I almost dropped my phone.
On my way.
