My legs shook as I marched up to the front door and rang the bell. They had one of those fancy doorbell camera things, but Eugene still looked shocked to see me on their doorstep in the middle of the day.
“Sawyer? Come in. Is everything okay? You look… Well, to be frank, you look like hell.”
Eugene’s candid assessment prompted a weak, watery laugh to come spilling out of me. The laugh started to turn into a sob, and Eugene looped an arm over my shoulders and steered me into the house.
“Thurston is in the middle of a lecture at the moment, and Joey is out, so it’s just me, you poor thing. But I promise to do my best to help you. Did you want a coffee, a tea, maybe something stronger?”
I shook my head and dashed the tears away, angry at myself for being so ridiculous, but I’d always hated confrontations, and I’d done my best to avoid them. I despised how unsettled they made me feel afterward. Some people were built for the adrenaline rush. The rapid rise, the high, the feeling that you were invincible. But it was always followed by the crash. The wobbly limbs. The heightened emotions. The tightness in my chest and the pounding in my head made me dizzy.
Eugene sat me down on the couch, taking a seat next to me and keeping his arm around me. The fact that he didn’t say anything for a while kind of threw me. Eventually, I took a deep breath and looked over at him. “You haven’t said a word since I got here. That’s weird.”
He laughed and squeezed me tighter. “Thurston is always on my ass for not listening to people. So I’m practicing my listening skills if you’re interested in talking. Maybe I can help.”
I inhaled deeply, sucking air into the bottom of my lungs and holding it there for a second before I exhaled. “It’s about Lukas.”
Eugene gave me a sympathetic smile. “I should have known it was boy troubles.” He patted my knee with his other hand. “Come on, tell me all about it. Start at the beginning. Leave nothing out. Especially not any dirty bits.”
He winked at me, his attempt at humor lightening the mood. “We listen and we don’t judge.”
“Okay, so…” I began.
TWENTY-EIGHT
LUKAS
River had donean incredible job editing the scene between Asher, Jax, and Blue. It was a hell of a piece of art, and I had a feeling it was going to launch Asher into the stratosphere. That idea, however, made unease slither through me. I’d only ever wanted to protect Asher, to shield him from the shit I’d gone through. The shit his brother had gone through.
But by trying to shield him, I might have done him a disservice. Asher was an adult when we met, and I’d treated him like a kid. But I’d only ever wanted to protect him the way Leo had done.
At my feet, Lara let out a gentlewoof, and a second later I heard a knock at my office door.
“Yes?”
Asher poked his head in.
“Hey, I wasn’t expecting you. Did you want to see the rough cut of the footage? River did an amazing job so far.”
“Uh, not right now.” Asher stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. His face was white as a sheet. “Can I talk to you?”
“Of course.” I motioned to the couch on the other side of the room and moved to join him there. Asher sat at the other end, as far away from me as he could get. He wouldn’t look at me, only at his hands and the way he twisted his fingers in his lap.
“Is this about your scene the other day? I know we haven’t touched base since then. Did you get my messages?”
Asher shook his head. “No. I mean yes, I got them, but this isn’t about that.”
It was hard to feel any semblance of relief when he looked like he might be sick at any minute.
“Okay, well, tell me what happened.”
Asher glanced at me, not quite looking in my eyes. “I fucked up.”
“Unless you killed someone, I’m pretty sure you couldn’t have fucked up that badly. Did you kill someone, Asher?”
Even my sad attempt at humor did nothing to improve his dour expression.
“No. Ugh. I said some shit to Sawyer. Some shit that was fucking mean, okay. And he was fucking nice about it, mostly, which was even worse.”
My fingers twitched as I thought about getting my phone and calling Sawyer for his side of the story, but before I could move, Asher continued talking.
