“Respectfully, I can tell when you’re full of shit.”
“There’s nothing between us. He’s nice. He’s easy to talk to, and yes, he’s easy on the eyes, but he’s a client. And he’s had issues with other people before me when he tried to hire them. Apparently, they had a hard time staying professional, and that’s important to him.”
She let out a sigh so heavy that I felt it in my bones. “Fine. Be all responsible and shit. Are you going to make it to the pool tomorrow morning?”
Yvette and I frequently crossed paths there. She was a better swimmer than I was, but she still insisted that we should race. I never won. She joked that she liked to keep me around because I was good for her ego, but the affection in her expression always gave her away.
“I can meet you there if you want. Same time as usual?”
“Sure. It’s not like I’ll be doing the walk of shame or anything. Stupid silent phone. Stupid men.” She grinned at me. “Offense intended.”
“Hey, believe me, I know all about men. I am one, and I have the unfortunate experience of also being attracted to them.” My attraction to Lukas was only unfortunate because he was my client. Maybe if he hadn’t contracted me for the job, I could have had a shot with him, but as it was, he wanted someone who took his book seriously. And I could be that for him. I could succeed where everyone else failed.
“Dating women would be so much easier. They’re prettier. They smell better. They return text messages.”
“Sounds like you should explore that latent bisexuality of yours.”
“My what?”
I stopped and looked at her, Bandit quickly winding his way around my legs, wrapping me in the leash.
“Did you hear yourself just now? Girls are prettier. They smell better.”
“Well, it’s true.”
I arched an eyebrow at her. “You had a crush on that gym girl last year.”
“It wasn’t a crush. She was just super-hot.”
I stared at Yvette, not blinking or speaking until she sighed.
“Okay, fine. So it might have been a crush. But, Sawyer, you don’t understand. I’d be a terrible bisexual. I can’t even talk to a pretty girl. They’re so…” She waved her hand in the air, clearly flustered. “They’re too pretty, okay? I get all stupid. And it’s not like girls talk to me either.”
“So use an app. At least she’s not likely to send you a dick pic within your first twenty-three seconds of interaction. And I’m going to hold your hand when I say this. If you don’t talk to girls because they’re too pretty, it stands to reason that girls might not talk to you becauseyou’retoo pretty.”
“Shut up.” Her face turned an impressively aggressive shade of pink. “I don’t have to stand here and take that.”
“You mean the compliment I just gave you?”
“Exactly. How very dare. You’re supposed to be my best friend, and you’re trying to get me to talk to girls. Do you know how scary they are?”
I pinned my gaze to her and deadpanned, “No. Not at all. No clue. It’s not like I have a terrifying best friend.”
“Threaten to murder you one time, and that’s the reputation I get.” Yvette drained her coffee then took my cup from me so I could untangle the leash from my legs.
“If you don’t want the scary guard dog reputation, maybe stop threatening to hide bodies in suitcases.”
“We live in a city. Where else would I hide a body?”
“In a dumpster like a normal person?” I successfully untangled the leash from around my body, and then we started walking again. Yvette handed me my coffee back.
“I’m pretty sure putting bodies in dumpsters isn’t normal, though, Sawyer. You watch too much true crime television.”
“Even without watching those, dumpsters are common locations for body disposal.”
“Humans are gross.”
“Hence why I’m taking Bandit for a walk instead of scrolling Grindr. Dogs are nice. Dogs are easy.” Dogs don’t care about things like professionalism and careers and integrity.
