I wasn’t a total virgin. I knew what things like double penetration were. I’d watched porn. But I’d been raised in a house that most assuredly didn’t talk about sex. Heck, I sometimes wondered if my parents ever had sex or if my brother and I were artificial insemination babies. Maybe we’d been created in a petri dish. My parents had a frosty relationship, and I’d never seen them kiss. I might have seen them hug once, but that was after Grandma died.
The kitchen was thankfully empty when I arrived so Lara was the only one around to witness my continued embarrassment as I pulled my laptop out and got set up. I’d already printed off the introduction I’d written. All three versions. Overkill? Maybe, but I was determined to nail this project for him.
Lukas had a shit home life, and he didn’t have the luxury of family money and connections to fall back on, so he’d forged his own path. Even if I hadn’t had family money to behind me, I definitely wouldn’t have made it in the adult industry. There were just some career paths that weren’t for everyone. And while I admired the people who could be vulnerable like that, I wasn’t one of them.
It was a few more minutes before Lukas appeared. “Sorry about that. We were supposed to be done and wrapped a couple hours ago, but sometimes things take longer.”
“Ash explained.” I couldn’t say the rest, but Lukas was somehow able to read my discomfort—not like it was difficult. I felt like the tips of my ears were neon signs, blinking my embarrassment for everyone to see.
“I’m sure he did. Sorry about him. He’s a bit of a brat, but I’m stuck with him.” It was clear from his expression that he was fond of Ash.
“Does he work with you?”
Lukas opened the cupboard and grabbed a can of coffee. As he talked, he scooped the grounds into a fresh filter in the basket of the coffee maker. “Yeah, but not how you think. Ash is the kid brother of a friend of mine. Leo died a couple years ago, and they—like me—didn’t have the best upbringing. Leo had been looking after Ash, who was barely eighteen at the time of his passing. He’s been my assistant for a couple years so I can keep an eye on him, and he’s been begging me to put him to work, but I’ve been stalling.”
“Yeah, but I finally cracked him.” Ash came into the room wearing a hoodie. With the hood pulled up, he looked even younger. “Maybe if I’m lucky, Lukey will put me in a double penetration scene.” Ash’s eyes went wide. “Oh, imagine if, like, two guys were fighting over who got to pop my cherry, and I was, like, why don’t both of you fuck me?”
I looked at the floor and hoped that a hole would open and the earth would swallow me whole. My ears were no longer neon signs, they were spotlights, showcasing my deep discomfiture. How in the hell was I going to write this book when I couldn’t handle hearing about double penetration and virginity contests without spontaneously combusting?
“One more word, Ash, and I’ll take you off the schedule.”
I flicked my gaze up in time to see Ash pretend to zip his lips.
“You’re no fun, Lukey.” Ash crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Lukas’s midsection. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Take care, kid.” Lukas patted Ash on the back like a brother might do. It was really sweet, the way Lukas had taken in the brother of an old friend. But I already knew from the story of Lara and the little bit I’d learned to write the intro that Lukas was a caring person. He’d suffered so he did things to make sure other people didn’t.
Lara groaned and eased herself to the floor, using my foot as a pillow. Lukas eyed her and shook his head.
“Don’t worry. I brought a lint brush this time. Besides, I promise I don’t mind. She makes me want a dog. Maybe one without quite so much hair.” Lara looked up at me and sighed. “No offense.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No, I ate before I came, but if you’re hungry, you should eat. I don’t mind.”
Lukas exhaled, looking relieved. “Thank God. I wasn’t kidding when I said the shoot went over time.”
“I hope it went well.”
Lukas smiled, looking pleased with himself. “It did. Sometimes things run long because of nerves, or you can’t get the right angles, or the models are having an off day, or there’s not the right chemistry. There can be a million reasons why things go wrong, or not even wrong, just not as smooth as you’d anticipated. And then there’s days like today when it goes over time because they’re just that hot together. The chemistry was off the charts. And after intense scenes like that, I like to make sure everyone is okay. I’m a bit of a mother hen.”
He shot me a half smile, like his kindness was something to apologize for.
“I like that you care about the people you work with.”
Lukas stacked some sandwich stuff on the counter and started assembling his meal. “Sometimes,” he began, “when people grow up in bad situations surrounded by bad people, they take on the qualities of those people. They watch the bad examples and emulate them because they don’t know any different. And then sometimes, someone like me comes along. I used those people as examples of what not to do. At least that’s what my therapist said to me, more than once.”
“I can understand not wanting to be like the people who raised you.” I wasn’t about to pull the poor little rich boy act, but I’d never wanted to be a cold person with a stick up my ass who only valued money and status and appearances the way my parents did.
When Lukas sat down with his sandwich, I pushed the folder with the three introductions across the table to him. “I might have gotten a little carried away with the intro. I kept rewriting it and eventually I picked the best three. I’d like you to read them over and tell me what one you like best, and that’s the kind of tone I’ll carry through the rest of the book.”
Amusement sparked in Lukas’s eyes. “Someone’s an overachiever.”
“Guilty as charged.”
Lukas pushed the folder back to me. “I can’t read and eat at the same time. How about you read them to me, and I’ll pick after?”
“I can wait while you eat,” I tried to argue, but there was a look of unease that flashed across Lukas’s face prompting me to grab the folder and flip it open. Maybe he was in a hurry? His shoot had gone late so it was possible he was pressed for time.
