“I was thirty-four when we met two years ago. I’m thirty-six now. Aka too old for you.”
“Maybe I have daddy issues.” He frowned. “Actually, I know I have daddy issues.”
He stuffed the pillows into fresh pillowcases and fluffed them up a few times. He cast a glance at me, his expression a little more serious now. “Who did you have in mind for me? Or can I, like, request someone?”
“Tell you what. I’ll make a list of people I think would be a good match. And you can make a list of people you’d like to scene with, and then we can compare notes and see if there are any matches. I can’t guarantee anyone we settle on will say yes, but it will give us a starting point.” And it would give me time to think it over a bit more.
I’d always hoped that maybe Ash would find something else he was interested in doing. I knew Leo didn’t want this for him. Leo had talked about his little brother and the fact that Asher worshipped the ground he walked on. According to him, Ash had found out about Leo’s career some months before he died. Leo had been mortified, and it had only been made worse by the fact that Asher had thought it was a great idea.
Leo had never loved what we did. He’d done it for the paycheck. He’d done it to put together a college fund for Asher, whom he’d bragged about all the time. Asher had been some sort of teenage science wiz, and Leo had hoped that Ash would put his big, beautiful brain to work.
Ash and Leo had been born to parents who were fucked up when they had their first kid but had sorted their shit out by the time Ash came along as a surprise ten years later. By then, Leo had already cemented his place in the family as the problem child, but he’d adored Ash and had done his best to make sure Ash had all the opportunities he never would. Because, of course, their parents didn’t stay on the straight and narrow and Asher spent the final years of high school living with Leo fulltime.
And then he’d died. I’d offered to let Ash stay with me, but he wouldn’t leave the apartment they’d shared. Even though he’d been the one to find Leo.
“You promise you’re not going to back out on me?” Ash asked. He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. When he did that, he looked even younger than his twenty years.
“I won’t back out on you. A promise is a promise.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been stalling for like two years.”
“For good reason.” I hung the picture on the wall, an abstract print to replace the landscape I was taking down. “Leo didn’t want you anywhere near this life, and I wasn’t about to shove a vulnerable eighteen-year-old in front of the camera mere months after his brother died. Sorry if that makes me an asshole.”
“See,” Ash whined. “This is why I knew I had to work with you. It can’t be anyone else. No matter how much I threaten. I know Leo didn’t want this for me, but he also never wanted anything for himself. Everything he did was for me so I could have the life I wanted. And I want this.” Ash tipped his chin up and rolled his shoulders back, giving him an extra half inch of height.
“I’ll have a list for you next week, okay? We’ll have a sit down after the shoot with Jax. Put it on my schedule.”
Ash’s face lit up, and he nearly fumbled his phone as he pulled it from his pocket. To keep Asher around so I could keep an eye on him, I’d hired him as my personal assistant after Leo’s death. He now took care of all my scheduling arrangements.
“Don’t forget you’re meeting with that writer tomorrow,” Ash informed me as he tucked his phone away. “How’s that going, anyway?”
Asher had also offered to write my memoir with me, but I’d declined his offer. It wasn’t that I didn’t think he could do it, butI didn’t feel comfortable discussing my past with him. In a lot of ways, it had been easier to talk to Sawyer about my life. Even if we’d barely started.
“I get to look at the intro tomorrow, and then we’re talking about the first chapter. So things are moving along nicely.”
“What’s he like?” Ash plopped down on the freshly-made bed and watched me fiddle with the background props some more.
“Quiet. Reserved. He’s nice, though. Easy to talk to. And Lara likes him.”
“Lara likes everyone.”
It was true, but it was still a selling point that Sawyer liked her and hadn’t complained about the massive amount of dog hair left on his clothes by the time we were finished. I absolutely used my dog as a character test for people, and Sawyer had passed with flying colors.
SEVEN
SAWYER
It wasn’tLukas who opened the door when I knocked. A younger man with dark hair that was artfully styled to look like he’d just climbed out of bed answered. “You must be the writer,” he said, as he motioned for me to come in. “I’m his assistant, Ash. Lukas is just finishing up, and he’ll be with you in a minute.”
My schedule was more open than his, but I had picked up some tutoring work, much to my parents’ dismay. I’d already disgraced myself by being a writer, of all things, not exactly something they considered to be a real job. I didn’t honestly enjoy tutoring, but the money was easy and it pissed my parents off. So what if I was almost thirty and doing things to purposely annoy them? I’m sure I wasn’t the only person in the world with parental issues.
I followed Ash into the house and was greeted by Lara, who padded over as slow as ever. Slipping my bag from my shoulder,I knelt on the floor and scratched either side of her big, furry head.
“I see you’ve met our best girl.” Ash raked her fingers through the fur on her hind end.
“I think I took half of her home on my pants last time. But that’s okay. She makes me want to get a dog.” After another few scratches, I stood up and toed out of my shoes. Sliding them off to the side, I stood awkwardly for a moment as Ash scrutinized me. “I’ll get set up in the kitchen and wait for Lukas.”
“I’ll go tell him you’re here. They filmed a double penetration scene today, and Lukas likes to make sure his bottoms are well taken care of after.” Ash turned and left me standing in the entryway, face aflame, heart slamming against my ribs.
