Courtney’s resolve wavered slightly as she prayed this plan didn’t backfire on them both.
*
Backfire? It bloodywell more than backfired… Courtney had never experienced a more mortifying moment in all her life.
One moment, she had been sharing secret smiles with Lucien across the ballroom, both reveling in their clever scheme to push Rockwell and Farah together. The next, her world had crumbled as Lucien announced his engagement to Farah before the entireton.
A lady friend of Rockwell’s, who had seen him and Farah in Ireland, realized the lie Rockwell had told her. In Ireland, he’d tried to pass Farah off as his sister Ashley. The lie was exposed when the lady turned up at the ball…and met the real Ashley! Now everyone knew Farah had been in Ireland with Rockwell and Lucien.
The whispers had started immediately, rustling through the crowd like wind through autumn leaves. And while Courtney understood Lucian had no choice and was protecting her friend, her insides clenched as she analyzed how this could turn out.
“Wasn’t he engaged to Lady Courtney before his disappearance?”
“Poor dear, jilted by the same man.”
“How utterly humiliating.”
She maintained her composure with remarkable fortitude, smiling placidly as if the announcement was of no consequence whatsoever. Even as her pride splintered in her chest, she had nodded graciously, accepting condolences with a practiced laugh and dismissive wave of her fan.Please, please Rockwell, do the right thing…
“How extraordinary,” she’d murmured to Lady Worthington, who had practically sprinted across the ballroom to offer her sympathies. “I wish them every happiness.”
Courtney could stand it no longer and followed Lucien as he strode from the ballroom, her heart still reeling from the public humiliation of his engagement announcement. She found him on the moonlit terrace, his hands braced against the stone balustrade, his shoulders rigid with tension.
“Lucien,” she began softly, approaching him with careful steps. “We need to talk about what just happened.”
He didn’t turn around. “I’ve ruined everything. My life. My family’s life and now Farah’s and your life. If not for me, Rockwell would never have gone to Ireland and Farah would never have been on that damn boat.”
“I’m proud of you for doing the right thing. Maybe it’s for the best. You make a new life, and I can make one, too, without burdens from our past. There is someone else I was considering. I’ll be all right. And you will be all right, because you don’t love either me or Farah. It’s Farah I’m worried about.”
“Someone else?” How could he sound so hurt when they hardly knew each other and he’d just proposed to another woman?
“Mr. Axton Fancot, Valora’s brother.” She shrugged her shoulders. “He’s nice and he has taken an interest in me.”
“So, were you ever going to take my return and a relationship between us seriously? Or were you only humoring me in the carriage tonight?”
“If the love of your life returned from the dead, even with no memories of you, would you walk away?”
“Probably, if they were damaged? Broken?” His voice cracked slightly.
Tears pricked at Courtney’s eyes. “Well, I’m not you—”
“But am I a man you want to try again with?” He stepped closer, his expression raw with pain and frustration. “When you look at me, you see him. When I fail to remember something that was important to us, you look disappointed. When I don’t react the way you expect, you try to remind me of who I used to be. Everything will be new with Mr. Fancot. No memories of how it used to be, just new memories. It’s hard to compete with that.”
“You aren’t competing—”
“Aren’t I?” The words hung between them. “The Lucien you loved died in Ireland five years ago. I’m what’s left—a farmer who doesn’t know how to be a lord, a man who can’t remember loving you, someone who’s failing every test you never told me I was taking.”
“But we spoke in the carriage on the way here and I said I wanted to try.”
His shoulders slumped and he looked away. “I really want that chance, too. But now I’ve ruined everything with my public proposal.”
He spun to face her and the pain in his eyes broke her heart. “I’d best go and sort this out. Hopefully Rockwell will come to his senses.”
He left her standing in the dark, and that was how she felt about him. He was cloaked in darkness, and she had no idea if he’d ever step into the light so she could get to know the new man he was. He was here, but hiding pieces of himself.
Perhaps second chances were just a dream. She didn’t even know if she liked this new Lucien. One minute he wanted to try, and the next he’d ruined everything by making a scene tryingto save Farah’s reputation. Perhaps Axton was a better option for her. Lucien was right. Axton was new and there was no doppelganger for her to compare him to.
*
