"We've all been through something similar and are here to support each other. Some people get together outside of our meetings and schedule play dates with their kids."
A woman raised her hand.
"Yes, Erin?" Joan asked.
"I want to move out of the house I shared with my husband, but it was a gift from his family. They feel like I should keep it in the family and that I shouldn't move the kids from their childhood home. The memories of their father are in this house."
"But what do you need?" Joan prompted her.
"I need a fresh start. A place where hard memories aren’t lurking around every corner. I think that's what the kids need too. It feels like something is holding us back, keeping us stuck, and I'm wondering if this could be the thing to break us free."
I cleared my throat. "I sold the house fairly soon for that reason. Marla died there, and I wanted a fresh start without that memory for me and my daughter. I have to say it's been a good thing for us."
Joan nodded. "It's hard to let go of things, but you have to do what's right for you. I think the fact that this house was a family home is the thing that's making you feel guilty."
Erin nodded. "I think so too."
"But it's notyourfamily's home, and if you need to move, then that's what you need. They can buy it from you if they want."
Erin nodded. "That's a good idea."
"And, Maddox, that was a big move so soon after your wife died. Good for you for knowing what you needed and doing it," Joan said.
The praise felt good, because I'd felt guilty about that decision even if my parents didn't say anything bad about it. "My issue is that I've met someone, and I worry that people will think it's too soon to date."
"There's no timetable for these kinds of things. People will have their opinions about everything you do. But you can shut those down by creating boundaries. Are your parents the ones who have an issue with you dating, or is it your daughter?"
"Both have said it's fine. It's more societal expectations. I've heard people mention that so-and-so remarried too soon."
A few people nodded in agreement, and someone murmured, "That's the worst."
"No one can know what's in your heart, and I hardly think two years is too soon by anyone's definition. Especially if your daughter has said she wants you to be happy," Joan said.
Tears stung my eyes. "She did say that."
A man to my right said, "Your daughter probably wants to see you happy."
I sighed, hating that Sofia might be upset about me.
"At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you," Joan said before moving on to another woman's question about whether her children needed grief counseling. I tuned it out because Sofia was already seeing a therapist.
It was validating being here with people who'd gone through the same thing that I had. Even if my therapist had said something similar, I hadn't taken it to heart until now.
At the end of the meeting, Joan approached me. "How do you feel about the meeting?"
"Good. It's nice to be with other people who've been in similar circumstances."
Joan nodded. "That's the idea. You're not the only one. I hope we see you again soon."
I planned to come every Wednesday I wasn’t working. I needed the support. I hung around for a few minutes, talking to the other single parents. The dads met for coffee once a month to discuss issues specific to them. I got their information so that we could talk outside of the group.
Afterward, I went to my parents' house.
Inside, Mom was emptying the dishwasher. "How was it?"
"It was good to see others who were experiencing the same issues and concerns."
"You think you'll go back?"
