“Why wouldn’t I? They didn’t break me. Don’t act like I’m broken.”
He moved swiftly and lay on top of me, his face looming above mine. “I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re so fucking strong it makes me feel weak. Hey, look at me.”
My eyes itched, my vision turning blurry. “I can’t.”
He kissed my chin. “I want so badly to be with you in this, but I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing and driving you away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”Not if I could help it.
“Good. Just promise to let me know if I ever hurt you.”
“You can start by not squashing my balls.”
“What? Oh.” He slid away.
“Can we just stay quiet for a bit?” I wiped my eyes.
“Sure.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling lighter as another piece of my past lay bare between us. I wonder how much more I could reveal and still have him stay. At what point would dark become too dark?
When I was about to suggest we go eat, Hayden’s phone rang. He pulled it out and answered. “Yeah, Sue? For real? That was fast… great, thank you… did you remember to keep this between us? You’re the best.”
He hung up and moved to lean on his elbow. “The mugshots I asked for are ready.”
My stomach churned. I thought we had more time. “Oh.”
“You can look at them whenever you’re ready. No pressure.”
If I had to think about those mugshots waiting for me, it would drive me crazy. “Can we go now?”
“Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“No.” I pushed myself to my feet. “But I want to get it over with.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Due to the late hour, the station was relatively quiet. The few cops we saw asked Hayden why he was there so late, and he said he’d forgotten something in his office. He led me up the stairs—the same ones I couldn’t bring myself to climb a few days prior.
His office was spacious, but he shared it with another detective who wasn’t currently there. He pulled back his chair for me to sit, as if we were on a date.
“Can I see the menu first?”
“I’ll order us pizza.”
His desk was very clean and organized, with a framed photo of a smiling Maya, resembling him by the shape of her eyes and nose. He also had a few stress relief toys. I grabbed one shaped like a banana, figuring I’d need it.
“Before you start with the mugshots, do you mind looking at the photos of the other missing actors? You might recognize some.”
I squeezed the banana. “Okay.”
He pulled out a folder from his drawer. I opened it and browsed through photos of handsome men, some younger than others. They were all smiling in their photos, likely believing their best years were ahead of them, their dreams right around the corner. “I don't recognize any of these men.” Though I couldbarely recall the faces of the other captives, their hatred had likely driven me to hide them in a dark part of my brain.
The sudden knock on the door startled me. I hurried to close the folder as a young female officer entered.
“Hi, Sue.” Hayden put a hand on my shoulder. “This is Jonah.”
She came to shake my hand. “Hi, I heard a lot about you.” She said to Hayden, “Everything you asked for is in your inbox. Delete it once you’re done. The Chief was loud and clear about this case.”
