Hayden leaned closer. “Remember them how?”
“They were members of The Society. I don’t know if they still are.”
“Shit, those are big names. Can someone just leave The Society?”
“I heard of it happening, but I don’t know what it involves.” I tried to articulate my perception of them. “They act like an inner society, a hub of people with influence who want to run the world—or at least to manipulate it. I remember conversations about elections, bribes, and even wars they were meddling in. The rest of the captives and I were there for entertainment—we didn’t exist outside of their games.”
“They considered torture entertainment?”
“Yes. The Director once told me that men who can have whatever they want are bound to seek illegal things to satisfy their needs. I don’t think it’s true for all men, but it was true for those people.”
Hayden shook his head. “This shit is just getting darker and darker. I need more wine.”
And I needed my needles—but less than I expected. In truth, I was surprised that sharing my truth hadn’t caused my anxiety to soar. If anything, I felt lighter.
Hayden came back with a full glass of wine. The bags under his eyes made it clear the last few days had been rough on him too. He seemed troubled and restless. As I thought of what to say to make him feel better, he met my gaze and asked, “Do you hate me?”
I blinked, not sure I understood. “Why would I hate you?”
“The things I said when we broke up…”
‘Why didn’t you tell me you used to do those things, Jonah? And who the hell sent me those videos? A jealous ex-boyfriend? Your pimp?’
I crossed my arms, hating how fresh the memory felt and how deeply it still cut. “Yes, well, I didn’t make it easier by not answering your questions.”
“You didn’t owe me the truth.”
“Ididowe you the truth; I just needed time to prepare myself, but you were… you were so angry.”
“I know. I lost it.” He cleared his throat. “Why did they send me those videos?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “I don’t know for sure, but my guess is they found out I was dating a cop, and that was the least violent way to break us up.”
He rubbed his face before taking a sip of wine. I knew he preferred beer, but Samuel had drank the last one I had.
I hesitantly asked, “Is there a point in asking you to drop the case?”
“You know me better than that.”
“Why do you have to be so stubborn? You can lose your job because of this—hell, your life.”
“I didn’t choose this career to look away from evil.”
That had been one of the things that scared me the most about dating him—his uncompromising sense of justice, whereas I was living in the gray. I put my face in my hands and grunted, “You’re hopeless.”
He moved closer and rested his warm palm on the back of my neck, causing me to tense.
“Since I’ve officially dropped the case, everything I’ll do from now on is off the record. When I have enough evidence, I’ll go straight to the FBI. My aunt still has a few connections there.”
I raised my head and leaned back, but his palm remained on my skin. “And if the FBI tells you the same?”
“Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it. All I need from you is honesty. You have every right to refuse, but I’m asking for a chance to make this right.”
It dawned on me that I could keep my dark Pandora’s box private, but it no longer felt sealed tight. And if Nickhadbeen taken because of me…
“Okay.” The word felt heavy in my mouth, larger than its vowels. “I’ll tell you more about them, but it needs to be at my own pace.”
He nodded. “Thank you. We can talk about it more once we’re done.”
