Min nodded. “So you started working for him dressed as a man, then he learned you were a woman. What did his servants say?”
“I continued as a man until my disguise fell apart one day,” Ellis explained, skipping over the incident when Margot had caught them kissing. “I was wearing facial hair, and the beard came unglued in front of Mr. and Mrs. Lacey. Surprisingly, they did not have a problem with my being a woman. In fact, they encouraged me to assume my true identity. That was when Roman—Keele—informed the servants that I was actually Mrs. Ellis, a widow. That is also what the Laceys believe. I’m sure you can understand why.”
“But you aren’t a widow,” Min pointed out. “What will happen when that becomes known?”
“It won’t, for I don’t plan to stay there much longer.” Saying that out loud caused Ellis’s chest to ache.
“I’m surprised you took this risk at all,” Iona said with a slight shake of her head. “I can’t imagine it was enjoyable to dress up as a man. And you wore a beard?”
“I did, and I do not recommend it.” Ellis wrinkled her nose. “But it was all I could think of to find employment that I wanted to do and that would pay me well enough to save money.”
“Save money for what?” Iona asked.
“To make my way.” Ellis looked down at her lap. “I don’t have a family, and I don’t have a means of supporting myself. I have no prospects of marriage, nor do I want any.” She lifted her head and regarded her friends, though she didn’t focus on anyone in particular. She didn’t want to see their reactions—more accurately, their pity. “I’m not in the same situation as any of you. Not even you, Pandora. You’ve an aunt to take care of you.”
“My aunt would take care of you too,” Pandora said quietly. “I’ve told you that.”
“My father would take care of you,” Min said. “He’s offered.”
“Sheff would too,” Jo put in. “He’s told me that many times.”
Ellis appreciated their help, but she’d been at everyone’s mercy her entire life. She looked to Min and Jo first. “I don’t want your father or your brother supporting me. It just doesn’t feel right. Anyway, I have no future in this sphere. I’m not going to marry the way either of you have. My future is much more aligned with Pandora. I would much rather live in Bath or some other town that isn’t London and perhaps become a librarian.”
She thought about the conversation she’d had with Roman about that. It had been an idle thought at the time, but this was a truly feasible option for her and actually made her contemplate the future with something close to anticipation.
If they didn’t open a library branch in Bath, there would soon be an opening at a smaller branch when they promoted someone to Oxford. Ellis thought she stood at least a small chance of obtaining that position.
Pandora met Ellis’s gaze with a warm smile. She seemed pleased to hear that Ellis wanted to come to Bath.
Jo leaned slightly toward Ellis. “You’ve called the marquess by his Christian name at least twice now.”
“I noticed that too,” Min said. “Just as I noticed Ellis’s strong reaction to the suggestion of what she might be doing living at his house.”
Ellis had planned to tell them about their affair. She just hadn’t known how. This saved her the trouble. “While it has never had anything to do with my employment, Roman and I are currently engaged in a liaison.”
Iona gaped at her. “Does that mean you’re no longer a virgin?”
Ellis laughed. “Not for many years. You will find this shocking, I’m sure, but I never imagined I would marry, and I didn’t see the need in preserving some wasted notion of innocence. In retrospect, I think I was seeking whatever affection I could find. I encountered a couple of young men who were rather…affectionate.”
“I’m not a virgin either,” Pandora declared. “What’s the point when I won’t be marrying, thanks to Bane.”
Iona looked around at them. “So, I’m the only virgin?” She pouted. “I feel left out.”
They all laughed.
“Do you plan to wed?” Pandora asked.
“I thought so, but my mother keeps thrusting me at men I don’t care for.” Iona made a face.
“I thought you were nearly betrothed at one point,” Ellis said. “And that you were eager for that. Or did I misunderstand?”
“You did not. He decided not to propose after meeting a young lady with a better pedigree. Most men are not interested in marrying the daughter of an Irish steward.” Iona’s father had married her mother after she was widowed. He’d been steward on her first husband’s estate. That husband’s heir, the Earl of Wexford, was Iona’s half-brother and married to one of Min’s friends.
“If you decide you don’t wish to wed, there’s no reason to hold on to your innocence,” Pandora said.
It was strange to hear her say that. Ellis had known Pandora for several years, and the change she’d undergone as a result of being caught with Bane was both great and unfortunate. Pandora had wanted to marry and have a family, perhaps more than any of them. That one mistake had completely changed her life.
“I’m not sure,” Iona replied with an edge of frustration. “I just don’t want to suffer my mother’s meddling any longer. I do think I’d prefer to avoid the Marriage Mart, but Mama is hoping I’ll participate in this upcoming Season. I’m trying to convince her I’m not ready.”
