I cracked an eye open. “Then how could I possibly learn any of this in eight days?”
“Don’t worry about that yet. We’re starting with themind. You must quiet your mind so you can listen to the shadows. Feel them. Let them in and understand them before youcontrolthem, as you seem so intent on.”
I scrunched my brow. “Listento them?”
He nodded. “Close your eyes.” I snapped them shut. “Take deep breaths. Empty your mind of everything else. Fear, rage, hope, doubt, yearning. Let it all slip away with each breath. Feel the weight spreading from your shoulders and into your chest, down to your hands, your legs, your feet. Once all the noise in your head is quiet,listen.”
I did what he said. I shoved away my exasperation and tried to imagine all of my thoughts being siphoned out as I took several breaths.
At first, it felt pointless. Childish. Especially with Nox’s weighted stare of expectation on me.
But I pushed that aside too. I let it go with my next exhale.
My shoulders fell. The clink of steel on steel and distant voices of the training grounds faded into silence.
And then…I heard it.
Soft murmurs, barely distinguishable at first. Like wind whistling through trees or fabric sliding over skin. The sound morphed into a deep, rough voice, one that almost sounded likeThecae’s. It wasn’t words, more like…like whispers from the shadows in the circle around us, and when I concentrated harder, I could almost feel them.Feeltheir emotions. Fragments of memories, of desires and fears and pain weaving into a sound. A song my subconscious mind could understand, even though the rational part of my brain told me it wasn’t possible.
I sucked in a breath. “I can feel you. Your shadows. Are you doing that?”
“They have a stronger presence because my magic is stronger. But it’s a good sign that you can tell they’re mine. Most can’t decipher that on their first try.” A hint of pride bloomed in me at Thecae’s words. “Dig deeper. Try to put mine to the side and find yourown. Our magic is tied to our emotions.”
Well, that was a dangerous game. My emotions weren’t something I particularly enjoyed sifting through. I liked to hide them with an ill-timed joke, perhaps a sarcastic comment.
I was afraid of what I’d find if I got too close.
But this wasn’t just aboutmeanymore. This was for all those innocent lives Scarven was ruining, all the people he’d hurt. People like Everett and Nox’s sister.
I shifted in the circle and tried to shove the whispers of Thecae’s shadows into a small corner of my mind. To pick out something different. Somethingmine.
There was nothing.
It was blank. I could still only feel him and his strange, foreign shadows curling at the edges. My hands were balled so tightly in my lap that my nails left crescent-shaped indentations in the skin.
“This isn’t working,” I mumbled.
“You’re trying to force it.”
I made an annoyed sound in the back of my throat. “You said to dig deeper. How else am I supposed to do that without forcing it?”
He let out a hum. “You’re right. This approach won’t work for you. You’re too…aggressive.”
Nox scoffed behind us. I ignored him.
“But until you can center yourself, your shadowswon’t respond,” Thecae continued. He turned to his right and nodded through one of the windows leading to the covered perimeter. A trainee rushed out with a long, shallow basin of water and set it in the middle of our shadow circle.
“Tell me what you see,” Thecae instructed, motioning to the water.
I got up on my knees and peered into the basin. My own blue-green eyes stared back at me, framed in black-rimmed glasses. Thick red hair rested in a bun at the top of my head, with loose strands brushing my cheeks.
“I just see?—”
I stopped myself. A shadow appeared at the very edge of the water. Deep gray mixed with black as it swirled, almost as if the ends of it were playing with the reflection of my hair.
“Are those your shadows again?” I asked Thecae.
“No.” I didn’t have to look up to hear the smile in his voice.
