I shook my head and glanced down at my feet. “I wasn’t able to grab most of my things when I…when I left Mysthelm.”
Movement to my left caused me to look up. Nox shifted, his brow furrowed as he stared at me. I quickly turned away.
“I’m guessing they were both Shadow Wielders?” I asked Thecae after a moment of silence.
He nodded. “Your mother was an exceptionally powerful one. Malijah was actually half Shadow Wielder, half Lightbender, although it’s unlikely that both passed on to you. If anything, it would make you an even stronger Shadow Wielder. You’ve shown signs of the gift, I assume?”
I twisted my lips back and forth, slightly embarrassed. “Briefly, yes.”
“My maids say she conjures them in her sleep on occasion,” Nox offered. “They’ve seen shadows form beneath her door at night.”
“But I—I can’t make it happen again. I can’t get them to come back,” I admitted.
At that, Thecae grunted. “Of course not. Can youmakeyour shadow do anything?” He pointed to the ground at our five elongated shadows, highlighted by the sun coming through a window in the far corner. “Can you make it disappear or reappear at will?”
“No, but…that’s different,” I said.
“Why?”
“Because,” I squinted as I tried to form my thoughts, “because that’s caused by the sun. It’s not a force I cancontrol.”
“That’s the second time you’ve talked about them like that. Why are you so interested incontrollingthe shadows, girl?”
I bit down on my bottom lip, torn between embarrassment and irritation. “I thought that was the whole point of this? So I could learn how to wield them?”
“That was your first mistake.” He held out his arms, and I blinked several times as his real shadow, the one on the ground next to all of ours, wavered. It slowly furled in on itself and crept up his legs, then his torso, until it split and billowed out across his arms. The shadows twirled around his hands as if they were an extension of him.
“Until you learn that your shadows arealwaysa part of you, not just something to summon and banish whenever you feel like it, you won’t be able to access them. They won’t answer you if you view them as nothing more than a weapon to wield.”
“Okay.” I scratched the back of my ear. I supposed that made sense. It explained why trying to force them never worked for me. “Well…can you help me?”
“For Ceres and Malijah’s daughter?” His lips curved upward. “Anything.”
19
Devora
Iswatted at the gnat buzzing next to my ear, and a loud sigh across from me made me open my eyes.
“What, am I doing it wrong again?” I asked.
“The fact that you have to ask means yes, you’re probably doing something wrong,” Nox’s voice came from behind me.
I craned my neck to shoot him a glare. “Why are you still here?”
He shrugged. “Curiosity.”
Rolling my eyes, I faced Thecae again and squared my shoulders. He’d brought me to the far north edge of the training grounds and had me sit in a circle of dark, swirling shadows that he’d conjured, with the sun quickly setting to our right. Nox had followed us and took up a spot on a barrel right behind me. I could feel his annoying stare on my back the entire time.
For half an hour, Thecae and I just sat there with our eyes closed, breathing. I had no idea what this had to do with shadow wielding, but evidently, I was even doingthiswrong, if Thecae’s constant sighs were any indication.
“I thought I was supposed to be learning magic,” I grumbled under my breath as I closed my eyes again.
Thecae grunted, a sound I knew almost as well as his sighs. “Do you give a child a broadsword and say, ‘Here, go fight your enemy’?”
“Why am I always the child in everyone’s scenarios?”
This time, a rumble of laughter escaped him. “The answer is, of course you don’t. You start small. Short wooden swords, then blunt ends, until one day, they’re ready to handle something real. Something dangerous. Something that could hurt themselves and others. Your shadows are no different. If wielded correctly, they can be destructive weapons. You’re nowherenearready for that, girl.”
