“You welcome,” he says before shaking my hand.
Since I’m the last one here, I grab the monitor for my camera and my keys then walk out with him. I’ve worked later than I planned and I hate getting to Adora’s late, especially on school nights. She likes for the girls to go to bed early, and if I’m late, I fuck up her little schedule. Plus, I love spending time with them and watching her with them. Their dynamic is beautiful to see. She’s a wonderful mother and the love the three of them have for each other is perfection. I wish I had half of that growing up. Kadean and I weren’t so lucky.
Adora is everything and more than anything I could have hoped for in a woman. She’s warm, caring, and present. The night I unpacked all that shit about my mom and Kadean, I just knew she would dip and leave my ass. The whole situation is fucked up and it fucked me and Kadean up. I know it did.
We both are who we are because of that horrible mistake. While I became guarded and protective for him, he struggled and acted out. I dealt with it the best I could but I know I could have done more. The first three years after my mom died, I was hustling hard. I was on a paperchase, trying to get out of the drug game. That shit killed my momma but I was still serving it and that fucked with me. I knew I had to get out. I was on a strict get-money plan. In my mind then, where I was slacking with Kadean, money would fix it. He had the latest designer clothesand sported the most expensive kicks, but he needed more, he needed me. I had failed him again.
The guilt from my failures morphed into fixing and covering up all of his acting out and bullshit. First, it was destruction of property in middle school. Then, there were fights and suspensions in high school. Each wrongdoing was fixed by me and my guilt would just keep him laced. I rewarded his bad behavior. I stunted his growth. I crippled him from becoming a real man but I’m trying to do better. I’m setting boundaries.
He’s going to be a father soon and he has to learn accountability and responsibility. This Florida case is the first step. He’s my brother and I love him, so I’m not abandoning him. I’m not bailing him out and putting my shit up either. I got him a lawyer, and when I made that decision, she was right there. Adora made it safe for me to voice that and exercise it and I love her more for the space she provided me, which is why I have to tell her about that night and her mother’s phone.
I’ve kept both from her too damn long and I can’t do that shit anymore. I love her too much.
As soon as I’m in my ride, I place the camera monitor in the glove box and grab the phone. Then I start my ride and head to her crib, praying she understands. The alternative isn’t even a fucking option.
When I pull up to her place, I stuff the phone into my pocket, then get out. After dinner and the girls are in bed, I’m going to wrap her in my arms and come clean.
To my surprise, Adora isn’t at the door when I walk up. Normally, she sees me on her doorbell camera and meets me there. However, not tonight. The outside light isn’t on either but I shrug that off until my knocking and ringing of the doorbell go unanswered. I hit her cell and she doesn’t answer. The moment I ring the bell again, I hear the locks turning slowly on the otherside of the door. When it opens, my chest instantly tightens. Averi is on the other side crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask calmly. She doesn’t answer. Instead, she takes me by surprise and hugs me. Romi is the hugger. Averi and I usually do our little dap.Something is definitely wrong.“I got you, lil momma. Tell me what’s wrong,” I utter while lightly caressing her back. That’s when I see Romi laying on the sofa, crying too.What the fuck!
“It’s Mommie,” she mumbles.
“Something happened to her?” I ask.
“Yes,” she sniffles. “She’s in the room crying and won’t let us in. She’s real sad.”
“Okay. I’ll go check on her,” I say, then carry Averi to the sofa. “Let me talk to her,” I say and both of them just nod. The tears in their eyes and the sad ass looks on their little faces has my heart beating fast. “She’s going to be fine,” I try to assure them even though I don’t have a clue what the hell is going on.
To try and soothe them, I turn on the TV and find kid shit before walking down the hall. I’m passing her guest room when I hear her, sobbing loudly. That shit fucks with me instantly. I feel a tug in my chest. I don’t even bother to knock or announce my presence; I just open the door.
“Averi, I told you not to come in here,” she manages to get out through her cries.
Boxes are stacked around the room and she’s sitting on the floor in the middle of them. Her back is to the door so she doesn’t know it’s me. From the sound of her voice and sobs, I know whatever has happened has left her broken and I don’t want to exacerbate it. I gently announce myself.
“Pretty girl, it’s me,” I say and she slowly turns her head.
The tightness in my chest from the sound of her voice and sobs damn near stops my heart when I see her bloodshot and puffy eyes, drooped lips, and tear-stained face. When I’m rightbehind her, I kick off my Ones and ease down, stretching my legs out to the side of her. After inching closer, I wrap my arms around her and pull her back into my chest. The moment the back of her head hits me, she releases a sound that barely sounds human.
I just hold her and keep her close to me as she releases. With my tight and loving embrace, I just want to anchor and comfort her. She buries her face against my arm and chest as her hands fist the sleeve of my shirt. Her sobs come in waves, painful, high pitched wails followed by deep, low wails. Without hesitation, I hold her through each crest and gently kiss her head.
“Baby, what’s wrong? You gotta tell me so I can fix it,” I whisper and she only sniffles. “Please, pretty girl, talk to me,” I plead gently.
“She did it,” she finally says. “She did it.”
“Baby, who? Ol’ boy’s mom?” I ask, heated.If her bitch ass baby daddy has anything to do with this, his ass really gon’ see me.
“No, mine,” she says, then sighs heavy as fuck. She sniffles again then slowly lifts her head. I crane my head and my concerned eyes meet her distraught ones. When she blinks, more tears drop and I thumb them away.
“What did she do?” I ask and her already broken body slumps more. She slowly shakes her head before facing forward. She reaches for a piece of paper laying on a stack of clothes and hands it to me. Her eyes urge me to read the note.
It’s handwritten, addressed to her from her mom. It takes a second for me to realize exactly what I’m reading, but when I do, I immediately understand her condition and my mind goes back to that night. I start piecing everything together and her letter makes sense. I also reflect on that night from a new perspective.
Kadean kept insisting he didn’t cause the accident. He said repeatedly she’d hit him. I think about Adora’s mother that nightand her words specifically. A few times she told me to leave her. I thought she was just traumatized or afraid I would somehow hurt her. But it wasn’t that. She truly wanted me to leave her, let her die. She planned the accident and Kadean and I weren’t supposed to be there.
My poor Adora.
I have no words. None, but her eyes plead with me for some.
