Olivia reached into her pocket and began to count out the money she owed.
‘Don’t.’ Cece placed a hand over hers.
‘But I need to pay for the class.’
‘I told you; you were my guest.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes! You can repay me by coming back tomorrow.’
Olivia laughed awkwardly, yet Cece’s face remained impassive.
‘You are joking, aren’t you?’
‘Nope.’
‘You want me to go throughthatall over again?’
‘Yes!’ A cackle of laughter broke Cece’s stern expression. ‘I just think it would be good for you, that’s all. You’recarrying a lot of weight on your shoulders that I sense you’re ready to put down.’ Cece took a step towards her, the space between them so small that the rich, smoky perfume of her tattooed skin filled Olivia’s nostrils in an instant.
It was a smell so reminiscent of Jacob that, for a second, Olivia felt she was right there with him. Back in Udaipur. Saying goodbye. Faces so close to touching.
Her heart ached at the memory.
‘Hey’ – Cece broke the spell – ‘all I ask is that you think about it. I’m here at the same time every day. The offer’s there.’
‘Thank you.’ Olivia nodded, her mind a blur of emotions and a whirlwind of thoughts, each one clambering over another in a bid to be chosen from the pile.
‘My pleasure.’ Cece smiled, giving Olivia’s arm one final squeeze, before reaching down and grabbing the only pair of weather-beaten flip-flops left. ‘Now, I have to go – I have another client to teach – but take care of yourself, drink lots of water, and make sure you eat!’
‘I will, I promise.’
‘Good!’ Cece grinned, turning to stroll the opposite way down the beach. ‘And maybe see you tomorrow?’
‘Yeah.’ Olivia watched as Cece was absorbed into the crowd of persistent beach dwellers, who seemed so at peace with wasting entire days lying prostrate on the sand. ‘Maybe see you tomorrow.’
Jacob
Jacob’s nose was so close to the screen that he could practically feel the years of other people’s grime seeping into his skin. Dirty fingerprints smeared across the glass and bits of old food and drink crusted on like a second skin were enough to turn anyone’s stomach, but Jacob was too distracted to notice. He had been staring at the same message for the past ten minutes, unable to tear himself away, yet still unable to bring himself to reply.
From:[email protected]
Subject:Might have found the new best dosa in India …
Jacob read Olivia’s message again. The pull of her words was so strong that he wanted to fall through the computer screen and transport himself right to where she was. Yet every time his fingers so much as twitched in response, he pulled away.
‘Urgh!’ He slammed his fists down on to the table, sending the keyboard into the air and startling the middle-agedman next to him. The internet cafe he’d found in Udaipur wasn’t the most glamorous of establishments, but it served a purpose. It was dark, private and extremely cheap, which was lucky for Jacob, as for the past two weeks he’d spent all of his time simply staring at that one unanswered email.
Indecision was not a feeling Jacob was used to experiencing. If he wanted to do something, he did it, and when he wasn’t sure, he handed the question over to the universe. But now … now things felt different. Now there was a new voice inside of him. A voice of desire, of yearning, of wanting to be closer to someone, that the rest of him wanted to pull away from. There was a full-scale battle raging in his head and it was adding a whole new palette of colours to his black-and-white way of thinking. Nothing was simple any more. Nothing felt clear cut. And everything was starting to feel a little bit out of control.
He let his head fall into his hands, his temples burning white hot under the mounting pressure gathering across the surface of his skull. Last night his migraine had got so bad that he’d been sick from the pain, his body buckling under the weight of his brain, the sheer volume of sensation overloading his system to the point of breaking.
He sneaked another glimpse at the screen, the bright light automatically sending a shooting pain through the back of his eyes. His stomach rolled with nausea and his body ran ice cold.
Just make a decision and stick to it …
Jacob took a long, slow inhale and, with his eyes half closed, raised his head and allowed his fingers to land on the keyboard. He couldn’t ignore Olivia for ever, and if sending an email would lighten even a tenth of the load in his head, he was willing to accept the consequences.
