‘Cool, well don’t blow my mind with details or anything,’ she snarked.
‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’ He shrugged.
‘I want you to tell me why you’re avoiding me! Why my best friend in the entire world has stopped talking to me?’ Her face flashed with concern. ‘Is this because I told your mum about the other night?’
Fin’s shame crawled up his throat and began to wrap its cold fingers around his heart. Although he didn’t remember much about the night she’d found him passed out, fragmented flashbacks told him everything he needed to know. ‘No.’ He shook his head.
‘It is, isn’t it?’ She took a step towards him and narrowed her eyes. Fin tried to avoid her gaze but it was pointless. She was so close to his face that he could smell her skin and feel her breath mingling with his.
‘Fin, I’m sorry. I was worried about you. I’ve never seen you like that and I had to tell someone,’ she pleaded, her coat of angry armour falling by the wayside. ‘You said everything was fine after you talked to her.’
‘Itwasfine, until she went and told my dad.’ Fin could feel the resentment burning hot in his stomach, melting the shame away with its intense heat.
‘Oh.’ Eleanor took a step back. ‘What did he say?’ she asked tentatively.
‘Just the usual.’ Fin gritted his teeth. ‘That I was a pathetic waste of space and how ashamed he was to even call me a son. How he was booking me into a rehab facility whether I liked it or not. That the only way I would ever make something of myself was if I grew up and stopped acting like a child.’ Tears were building behind his eyes but he forced them to stay put. He didn’t want to cry. Not over his dad.
‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea.’ Eleanor softened. ‘Are you going to go?’
‘To rehab?’ Fin laughed. ‘No. Not a chance in hell. I’m leaving.’
Eleanor’s face crumpled in confusion. ‘What do you mean, leaving?’
‘The country. I’m getting out of this shithole. Away from my arsehole of a dad and pathetic pushover of a mum. I fly tonight.’ He winced as Eleanor’s mouth fell open.
‘No.’ She took a step towards him and reached for his arm. ‘Don’t go. You can’t go.’
‘I have to.’ He moved away from her. ‘I can’t stay here, Elles. Surely you can understand that?’
‘But what about me? I’m still here.’ There was so much angst in her voice that Fin was finding it hard not to change his mind right there and then. To promise to stay with her for ever and to never leave. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t be a burden on her any longer. He knew if he stayed she’d do everything to make sure he was OK. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.
‘You’ll be fine. You’ll go off to uni and make loads of new friends, and then you can come and visit me in all the cool places I end up.’ He attempted a smile, but Eleanor’s face remained stony.
‘I don’t want other friends. I want you. What about the plans we had? You promised me.’
Fin could feel the urge to stay growing with every word she spoke. This was exactly why he hadn’t wanted to see her before he left. He’d known it would be too hard to say goodbye like this.
‘We’re not kids any more, Elles,’ he snapped. ‘I’m going whether you like it or not.’
‘Well, screw you for being so goddam selfish,’ she spat, turning on her heel and storming out of the door.
*
Just under two hours later and everything was ready to go. Fin had scribbled a quick note to his mum, letting her know his plans. She may not have been the best parent in the world, but she didn’t deserve her son to leave without at least some explanation. The interaction with Eleanor was still sitting uncomfortably in his heart, but he couldn’t think about that right now. If he gave her even one second’s thought, he knew he’d never leave.
There was a loud knock on the door.
‘Hello?’ he called tentatively.
‘Taxi for Mr Taylor?’ a chirpy voice replied.
‘Coming!’ He hauled his rucksack on to his back and took one last look at the house. The house that had once been a source of security and solidarity was now full of bitter words and unspoken resentment.
‘Do you need any help with bags?’ the taxi driver asked through the door.
Fin opened it and stepped out. ‘No, all good. I’m travelling light.’
‘Nice. Quick trip somewhere, is it?’ the man asked.
