I cast my gaze out of the corner of my eye, at the bar on the far side of the room, hoping Kai's looking this way, that he sees I need help. But it's no use. He's handing over payment to the girl at the counter and accepting our drinks from her as I stand here and panic, and suffer, and pray for reinforcements that aren't coming.
"Awww, still looking for a man to come save you, huh, Dee? I told you—you don't have it in you to change."
I want so badly to prove him wrong, but I can't. My feet won't move, and I can't bring my hands up to fight him off. I just stand there like a statue, wishing I was stronger. That I could overcome this fear he's instilled in me, to dosomething,anything, really.
But I can't.
I'm not waiting for a man to come save me. There's no saving me at this point. If Theo Swanson decides he wants something, there's no way to change his mind. I know from experience.
I just hoped he'd move on by now. Clearly that was wishful thinking.
"What do you want, Theo?" I'm kind of proud of how confident and strong my voice sounds, even if I don't feel that confident and strong.
"Isn't it obvious? I want you." His fingers brush the sides of my throat, leaving a mental stain I can feel in my skin. "And when have I evernotgotten what I want?"
He pulls back, and for the first time since he stepped up behind me, I turn my head to look at him,reallylook at him. And it's like he disappears before my eyes. One minute, he's there, staring at me, backing into the crowd with a little wave, and then he's just . . . gone.
I'm not sure what's worse—the fact that he approached me when he knew I was alone, or that he's able to disappear like he was never here to begin with so easily.
His threat lingers in the air long after he's gone.
When have I ever not gotten what I want?
He's right, technically. In all the time I worked for him, never once did anyone ever deny him a thing. But this time? This woman? Me? I don't plan to give him what he wants. I don't plan to surrender to him. Especially not after taking his punishment on the chin and suffering for as long as I have to get by still. He can keep dreaming if he thinks I'll cave just because he wants me to now.
I paste a smile on my face and cross my arms, watching the couples that work their way back out on the dance floor, one by one. Kai should be back any minute with our drinks. I'll down mine, and then make the rounds with him like I promised. I can do that, at least, without falling apart where everyone can see. The breakdown, the fallout, can wait until I'm in the safety of my own home and behind a door I can lock and put between me and the crazy man stalking me, making my every moment a living nightmare. But we still have so many people to work through that I worry it'll take all night to say hello to everyone. And then goodbye.
Fuck.
"When you said you knew a place, I didn't think it'd bethis."
Two hours after the run-in with Theo, we got in the car and went in search of some food. I'm still riding the high of the event, but most of the nervous energy I've excused as excitement andjoy is just anxiety and stress. It's a buildup of everything from tonight, and I'm just not sure how much more I can take.
Kai leans back on the park bench across from his apartment complex, a wicked grin on his lips as he licks the sauce from his fingertips. "Well, normally I'd take you to some fancy high-end spot, in a dress like that, but I felt like tonight's been filled with enough bullshit and fancy dress-up. I wanted to enjoy a meal with you, not feel pressured to be someone we're not." It's a miracle he hasn't gotten anything on his all-white outfit. "How are your fried dumplings?"
I smile over at him and nod, taking another one off the end of the stick they're strung up on for convenience and ease. "Delicious."
"Perfect." His lips curl around a corndog, and I have to bite back a laugh at hownormalhe seems right now. White suit nonwithstanding, of course.
Here we are, sitting out here in what has to be thousands of dollars worth of high-end duds, a bodyguard by the car, another in it, and we're eating street food from a fucking food truck vendor in a park.
File that under Places I Never Thought I'd Be In My Life.
The park is quiet this time of night, and we eat in mostly companionable silence, until there's no food left, and the last straggler has left the park for the night. And then, it's just us, and the atmosphere changes.
"I had fun the other day, getting wasted with you at three in the morning." Kai turns to me finally, a hint of smile and hope in his gorgeous eyes. "Wanna do it again?"
If I go to his house right now, tonight, while the memory of Theo's little interlude is fresh in my mind, I'll?—
No.
I'm feeling far too weak and vulnerable to trust myself with booze and him. I might slip up and say something I can't affordto say. LikeI think I'm in love with you but there's a crazy man stalking me and making threats and I don't want to see you get hurt,orI want your arms around me so bad it's eating me up inside, please hold me.
"Not tonight," I say instead of denying him outright, frowning like I'm upset that I have to decline the invite. "Rain check?"
"I've heard that phrase before, but what's it mean?" He's so close I can feel his body heat, and that in and of itself addles what little bit of my mind isn't currently fractured.
I shake said head to clear it so I can process some logical thought and string together a sentence, even as Kai's thigh brushes against mine. "It means I'm asking you to put the invitation on the table for another night. Tonight was just . . . a lot."
