"I'll help you, then," she says confidently, her fork poised above the dish as she waits for me to take the first bite.
I don't bother telling her that sharing a dish like this is a little more intimate than I think she planned to get with me this early in the morning. At least, in my culture it is. It's not the full-scale sharing of food, feeding each other, that would denote a relationship. But it's close.
When it comes time to leave, and we've managed to eat everything she cooked, I watch her hunt around for her clothes and sigh when she finds them in a state of obvious disarray.
"Shit, I didn't wash my clothes. I'll have to stop at my house and change. I can throw these ones in the wash while I'm there?—"
"Throw them in my washing machine," I say suddenly, looking for any excuse to get her to come back. "You can get them later."
I don't tell her it's because I don't want to spend another night here alone, not after all that happened over the past twenty-four hours. I certainly don't tell her it's because I hope that by inviting her back under the pretense of coming to get her clothes, I won't seem so pathetic when I tell her I'd rather not be by myself, and beg her to stay, using work and her on-call status as an excuse. And I'llnevertell her that there's a very high chance that I want her, in more ways than one, all of them ways that I have no business wanting my assistant.
That's for later. Right now, I'm just hoping she'll say?—
"Alright. But you'll have to show me where the laundry room is."
chapter seventeen
Denali
"For the last time,Kai, I've got to go home," I say with a huff, hands on my hips while I watch him putter around his living room, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. "I've already been here two days. My plants at home are likely dying."
"It's just not worth it," he mutters, throwing me a wary glance over his shoulder. "You're too far away. What if I need you again? What if—what if something happens? And when I do call, it takes you so long to get here; you live so far away?—"
I wave my hands in his direction and roll my eyes. This is stupid. "I did my on-call job just fine without being right here, up your ass twenty-four-seven, before now. I'm sure I can do it again just the same."
"But it would just be easier if you were closer," he mutters, turning away to look out the far wall of windows. "Can't you move closer?"
The snort that leaves my nose is inelegant and loud. "With what money, Kai? I'm not rich. And in case you didn't know this, the neighborhood you're living in? It's three times what I pay in full rent and utilities, just for this studio penthouse whatever the fuck. Every building around here has a doorman and a securitysystem and no pets allowed. And no offense, but I'd rather have to make the trip across town every night than give up my cat."
"It's inconvenient," he mumbles under his breath, tapping his toe anxiously on the floor. "I don't pay you to inconvenience us."
"Do you have another solution?" I ask him, because it's doubtful he does, but if Kai offers to put me up in a nice apartment in this neighborhood by raising my wage, I won't complain.
"You can stay here, for now."
I don't believe my ears.Surely he didn't just?—
"I have a spare room. It's on the other side of the house, so you'll have your privacy."
He turns around and looks at me like he's a kid who's just asked for the biggest item on their wish list in the hopes they'll get it. "Kai," I whisper quietly, not sure what to think of this new proposition. "I–I can't."
"Why not?" He's staring point-blank at me, likely waiting with more of an argument against my refusal. "You still have your apartment. You can come and go as you please, and it saves Roger time in the morning, if you stay here overnight when we have a busy schedule, like now. Saves me time, too. I won't have to get up as early to wait in line for coffee, if you can run the expensive barista machine on my counter. Last time I touched it, I had to call a repairman to fix it."
Unfortunatelyfor me, and fortunately for him, Idohave experience with fancy coffee machines. "I might know a thing or two about them."
"Saves you time, then, too. See? There's really no reason to say no."
Rogerdoesspend a lot of spare time running me between places. And being nearer to Kai would make my job easier. It practically eliminates our hour long wait in line at the localcoffee shop for his fucking premium espresso in the mornings, if I make it here. Plus, thisisa nice apartment. With all the time I spend going back and forth between his place and mine, and with the events of recent days still fresh in all of our minds, things have been a bit tense.For good reason, obviously, but still?—
"I need you here forearlymornings, Denali. It's too much to expect you to drive over at dawn and start my day for me when you live so far away."
I want so badly to say yes. I do. But I don't trust myself living in such close quarters with a man who does things to my insides like he does. Who has me doing things I shouldn't be doing.
Like how every time we're in a room together, I always look for Kai. And find him looking at me. How every time he comes home and takes his shirt off like he's here alone, I have to physically restrain myself from drooling down the front of my chest.
Kai's hot, there's no helping that. But until recently, I was able to ignore it, I think. At least, I never noticed it before now.But now . . .
I should say no. I should tell him it's not happening, that he's a big boy with a security team and I'm only a phone call away.
