Her resistance to even saying the word ‘torture’ was yet another sign of Elizabeth’s lack of exposure to war. Which was only to be expected. She was a gently bred young lady, raised in the countryside. Despite her participation in fighting, she was not yet immune to some of the harsher aspects of the war.
“Riquer is a powerful mage. He can take care of himself by setting up his mental defenses. It is something we are taught in the Academy.” He hesitated. “With his permission, we could also ask if he is willing to submit to a spell that will prevent them from discovering anything about us.”
His suggestion seemed to make Elizabeth even more grim. “We could. But would he? Has anyone even told him yet? The decision was made without asking his permission. He is entirely ignorant of the fact that we are about to hand him over to the enemy.”
“As a seasoned spy, he understands how these things are done. And he knows what do to if captured.”
She winced at the word, but that was effectively what Riquer was.
“I must speak to him about it. It is my fault that this came about.”
Their conversation had not helped at all. Darcy did not know how else he could convince her.
“I am sorry that you were involved in such a painful decision, Elizabeth, but it was necessary. If it makes you feel better, the Prince Regent must have already planned to send Riquer to France. You merely confirmed what the prince wanted to hear. You cannot torture— torment yourself over it,” he amended hastily.
She made a guttural sound at the near mention of the word she had avoided earlier. “I will certainly torment myself over it.” She pulled herself up ramrod straight, resolution written on her face. “I will have to explain all this to Riquer.”
Darcy pushed aside the treacherous thought that she cared about Riquer too much. “Would it help if I went with you?”
“Thank you, but no,” she replied. “It is my responsibility, and I must deal with it alone.”
“Very well. Send for me if you change your mind.”
“I will.”
Chapter 6
The next morning, Elizabeth entered the dining hall for breakfast. It had been a long time since she had the luxury of sitting down for her first meal of the day. It was a rare treat to have time to herself, even if it had not been intentional. If only she could enjoy it! After a night of intense turmoil, she had woken up to discover she had missed both her training with Darcy and the first morning session with Riquer.
She regretted neither. For now, she would not be able to concentrate, and trying to do magic would only exhaust her further.
Besides, she still had to face Riquer and tell him about the Prince Regent’s intentions and her role in the Prince’s decision. Granted, as Darcy had told her, the prince’s mind was probably already made up even before she arrived, but she could not be sure. If it was really the case, why had the Regent asked them to come all the way to Carlton House, just to ask her that question?
She was still gripped by an intense feeling of guilt. And she was still upset at Darcy. She needed to sort out her thoughts beforeshe saw him again. Perhaps after she had spoken to Riquer, she would be better equipped to deal with her husband. The sense of dread coiling in the pit of her stomach made her sick, and the food she had started to eat felt like a rock inside her.
She was about to push her plate away and leave when her sister approached, carrying her food.
"What are you doing here, Lizzy? Are you unwell? You look pale."
Jane was a welcome interruption to her unpleasant thoughts.
“I missed practice this morning.”
“You did? And the skies have not fallen. The earth has not started to shake. And we do not have tempests and floods.” Jane smiled gently. “It is not the end of the world. You are entitled to do so once in a while, you know, Lizzy. If only for the chance for the two of us to spend time together.”
Another feeling of guilt replaced her guilt over Riquer.
"I am truly sorry, Jane. I have been neglecting you terribly," said Elizabeth.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I know you have too many demands on your time.” She smiled. “Though it would be nice to see you more often. I never thought I would say this, but I miss the days when you were treated like a pariah. At least we were able to spend time together."
Elizabeth could not help laughing. “I do not miss those days. I was very miserable. And I prefer Mr. Bingley as he is now, in full command of his senses.”
Jane blushed prettily at the mention of Bingley’s name. “So do I.”
Elizabeth wondered yet again what it would take to bring the two together. She did not want to interfere, but things could not continue as they were.
“Do you regret turning Mr. Bingley down?”
