Darcy looked into Elizabeth’s eyes, the upheaval there bringing back memories he had set aside. She was so quick and bold, it was hard to remember that she had not been bred to deal with intrigue and the palace and the war itself. It was all new to her. To the Prince Regent, Riquer was just a tool to be used, just as they all were. Elizabeth could be persuasive, but Darcy doubted either of them could have changed the prince’s opinion if his mind was made up.
“But you did not, and that is why you cannot blame yourself. And I beg to differ when it comes to Cuthbert. After it was over, I kept imagining all the different ways I could have saved him. I could have found a way to distract him by wounding him, for example, to bring his attention out of his nightmares and to me. It is a technique a Tutor mentioned once. If I had remembered it at the time, the outcome would have been different. But I did not, and there was nothing I could do about it.”
Elizabeth’s eyes were pools of sympathy.
“My guilt could not bring him back. I could not change what happened. Yet I was sinking under the weight of responsibility. In the end, Bingley was somehow able to convince me that I was not the one who had killed him. Someone else had. An Imperial Mage.”
Their eyes met. He wanted to remind her that Riquer was not innocent. That he had been involved in the latest attack on Founder’s Hall, perhaps in all the attacks. Riquer could well have been there when Cuthbert died. Certainly, he was one of the five mages who had been at Founder’s Hall that day when Elizabeth had fortunately foiled the attack. They had escaped to Netherfield because of him, and he had been their prisoner. It was asking too much of him to forgive this and think of Riquer as a friend.
Understanding the implications of his words, she sighed and stepped away. “Is it impossible for someone to redeem himself? He is working for us now.”
Darcy was tired of the whole Riquer debacle. He wished the mage had never been caught. Then he chastised himself mentally. Of course it was good Riquer was caught. Darcy felt muddled and confused.
“I am weary, Elizabeth. Weary of fighting myself and a war that seems unending. I was younger than Redmond when Napoleon turned his eyes in our direction. The war is crushing me. Remembering Cuthbert, I wonder if I will ever have the chance to live a life of my own. His life ended so suddenly. Who knows whether mine will as well?”
Elizabeth’s arms encircled him as she buried her face in his shoulder and squeezed tight. He breathed in her quiet strength and let her warmth seep into him, his throat clenching with a mix of grief and happiness at the good fortune that had found her for him. Flooded by a torrent of emotions, he held onto her to stop himself from being swept away.
They stood there for several moments as he slowly mastered himself. Instinctively sensing his mood, she released him and moved away to look at him.
“I am sorry, my love. Do you miss him?” Elizabeth’s eyes were full of compassion.
“I do. Not as much as I used to. When I lost him, the pain was so overwhelming, it consumed me. He was my Twin, my childhood friend. He was the brother I never had. And yet—"
“And yet?” she prompted.
“And yet, if I had not lost him, I would not have met you.”
It was a terrible truth. Why did everything have to be so complicated? He felt ashamed to speak the words out loud. It felt like a betrayal, especially since Elizabeth had taken his friend’s place.
Elizabeth placed a hand on his cheek.
“You must tell me all about him, so we can honor his memory together.”
There was a time and place for everything. “Another day, perhaps,” he said, leaning into her hand. “When we have time to spare.”
Elizabeth gave a sad smile. “Then it will never happen.”
He closed his eyes and drew her closer. “Itwillhappen. We just have to find a way.”
They stood quietly for a few more minutes. He savored every precious second, knowing it would not last.
Too soon, the sound of boisterous apprentices tearing out of a classroom interrupted them. With a rueful smile, he let her go.
“Where are you going now?”
“I have a class with some of the youngest apprentices.”
“I will accompany you, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course.”
But there was no more peace to be had. From the expression on her face, she had gone back to thinking about their previous conversation.
“I do not see how our communication could work in any case,” she remarked. “Even assuming Riquer is not killed or imprisoned, what if he is watched so closely he cannot use his mirror? What if his mirror is taken away? And what if, even inthe best-case situation, my magic is not strong enough? We have never tested it over such a large distance. It is too much risk for too little chance of success.”
Darcy hesitated, then said something that had been on his mind from the beginning. “And what if he is a double agent and tells them everything about us?”
Elizabeth drew a deep breath. At least she was not irked at him mentioning it. “I agree. It is yet another risk we must think about. Riquer may not betray us – and I do not believe he would for a moment – but they may—” she swallowed hard “—use unpleasant methods to extract the information.”
