Elizabeth shook her head, vexed. As if she could possibly have been fooled, when Mama had actually winked at her!
“And next time, when we are in a situation like this, I would appreciate it if you would not kick me in the back. Ithurt.”
“I had to,” said Lydia. “You are so silly, you might have given us away. How else could I warn you?”
There was no point having a sensible conversation with Lydia. Elizabeth sank into a chair as Kitty and Jane rushed into the room, with Mary following slowly behind.
“I saw Mr. Collins hurrying in the direction of the stables. Did it work?” cried Kitty.
“Yes!” Lydia took hold of Kitty’s hands and the two began to caper around the room, giggling loudly.
“Will someone please enlighten me what all this is about?” said Elizabeth. “Why in heaven’s name did Mama have to pretend to suffer an apoplexy?”
“It was the only way to prevent your marriage.”
Elizabeth could only shake her head in bewilderment.
“But I thought youwantedme to marry Mr. Collins.”
“I did not!” said Mrs. Bennet, hotly. “I never wanted any such thing.”
“Really, Mama. It was you who prodded me into the room and shut the door. I am certain if someone were to look closely, they would see bruises on my shoulders where you were poking me.”
“Yes, well, that was before I knew Lydia wanted to marry him. She would make Mr. Collins a far more suitable wife than you would.”
Elizabeth had never heard anything more preposterous. Lydia? A more suitable wife for Mr. Collins?
“Are you going to explain exactly what is going on?”
Mrs. Bennet and Lydia exchanged glances and fell into a stubborn silence. Elizabeth quirked her brow.
“If you do not tell me exactly what is happening, I will say the wrong things to Mr. Collins and spoil your plans. Besides, when all this is sorted, I am certain he will resume his proposal.”
“Very well,” said Mrs. Bennet, with a huff. “If you must know, it was the only way we could interrupt the proposal. It is only fair that Lydia should have a chance at Mr. Collins, don’t you?”
“I would like a chance at Mr. Collins as well,” interjected Mary.
“Hush, Mary!” said Mrs. Bennet.
Elizabeth stared at them in consternation. “Mama, what are you going to do when Mr. Crompton arrives? He will know at once that you are in perfect health.”
“You need not concern yourself with the matter, Lizzy. You are a sly thing. You want me to recover at once, and say it was all a fuss about nothing, so that Mr. Collins will continue with his proposal, and you can steal him from Lydia. Your motives are very clear to me.”
“You are completely mistaken, Mama. Lydia is more than welcome to Mr. Collins. I have no intention of marrying him. I was planning to reject his proposal.”
“I am not such a fool, Lizzy, as to believe you would do something so ridiculous! Reject Mr. Collins, indeed, when he is the only one standing between us and destitution!”
Elizabeth saw it was impossible to convince Mama of the truth. Now that Lydia had set her mind on Mr. Collins, it was firmly entrenched in Mama’s mind that Elizabeth would do everything to prevent the prospect.
“You may think as you chose, Mama, but I am telling you the truth. In any case, that is beside the point. Any moment now, Mr. Crompton will appear, and Jane and I will be expected to come up with some story to explain how you became ill.”
Mrs. Bennet waved her objections away. “Leave that to me. I am quite capable of dealing with the apothecary. He has known me for years. Now go away and let me manage it.”
“But Mama,” objected Jane, weakly.
“You, too, Jane. I do not see why the two of you are in such a dither. I thought you were supposed to be the sensible ones, but you are quite useless. Where has Lydia gone? Lydia will know how to behave.”
Since when had Lydia been the model of practicality? It was truly astonishing how blind Mama was to her youngest daughter’s faults. Elizabeth shook her head and took hold of Jane’s hand.
