“I don’t know. I swear, I’m trying not to be a martyr in this. I hate that I can’t just get over it, more for my own damn sake than yours. But the problem is?—”
“You don’t believe that it won’t happen again,” Circus finishes for me, getting to the root of the issue.
“Yeah, that. I talked about if Kruger and I break up…but if we weren’t dating, would we even be having this conversation? Or would you just go on pretending I don’t exist?”
“Just tell her, Circus.” Capone sighs, rubbing his hand over his face.
Circus takes my hand and holds on to it, his eyes focused on mine. “You were declared persona non grata. We were not to communicate with you, aid or assist you in any way, or we’d risk getting kicked out of the club and facing the same.”
“What?”
Capone nods. “It was a direct order from Blade. In his defense, he reacted to the situation. A lot was going on behind the scenes that you weren’t aware of. Hell, not even all of us knew. It went as high up as the White House. So when I say he had a lot going on, I’m not lying. Throw in a new old lady and tying another club to us through her, as well as recovering from his attack, and well…”
“I was the last thing on his mind once he kicked me out,” I finish.
“That’s my guess. It took the club years to bounce back. By then, you were long gone. To some of us, you were a stark reminder of what happened. To others, a reminder of how bad we fucked up. And well, anger is an emotion we’re much more equipped to deal with over guilt.”
I pull my hand from Circus’s and fold my arms across my chest in a protective way. “So all I had to do to gain favor was save a couple of people and almost die for my troubles.” I chuckle dryly.
“To be fair, Delphi, most of us didn’t even know you were back on the scene until G figured out who you were. None of us had heard a peep from you until then. Right when we realized there was a stalker in our midst, possibly a female one, we found out you were back. We didn’t know if it was a coincidence or ifyou were looking for revenge, but Midas sure as hell didn’t want Legs caught in the middle of it.”
“And I became the convenient scapegoat once more. I can’t keep being the easy target for the club to blame shit on, while you offer your love and withdraw it again whenever a new problem arises.”
“We know.” Capone sighs.
“Do you? Because I have no doubt there are still club members who blame me for what went down.”
“I don’t believe that—” Circus starts, but I shake my head.
“You ever hear about a man being accused of rape by a scorned woman? How his life is torn apart by the accusations until eventually she admits she lied? Let’s not touch on the fact that she makes a mockery of every survivor who finds the courage to step forward. But even when people know he did nothing wrong, they still treat him differently. The damage is already done because people believe there is no smoke without fire. You believed I was the mystery stalker, five years after last having anything to do with you all, like I’m some plotting criminal mastermind. All because an assumption was made about me the night Snake lost his fucking mind.” I’m shouting by the time I’m done, my chest heaving with hurt and indignation.
“You’re right, of course you are. But I want a chance to prove you wrong. I’m not asking you to just forgive us. I’m asking for a chance to work toward it. Let us earn your trust again, one day at a time, and independently of Kruger. If things go south, then it’s nothing to do with us. We will be club brothers still. But to you, Delphi, just brothers. Just Capone and Circus, two idiots who messed up with a good woman and who want a chance to make it right.”
I look between them. They seem completely sincere. God, it’s so hard to be objective when I know just how much it will hurt if they let me down all over again.
But I have Theo and Kruger to think about now, and they are not asking for me to forgive them on the spot. They’re asking for a chance. If I don’t give them one, can I really give the others one?
“Please don’t make me regret this,” I whisper before I find myself at the bottom of a dog pile, squished by two huge, overzealous bikers.
“Get off me, you big oafs. You’re squishing me to death.”
“Well, we wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Capone winks.
Circus gets up and heads to the kitchen, coming back with his iPad before taking his spot back at the table. “Alright, now we’ve got the mushy shit out of the way. Let’s go over what you want, and then Capone and I are going to take you out for lunch, our treat, no arguments.”
I offer them a small but genuine smile. “Okay, I’d like that.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
KRUGER
I lean backand cross my arms.
“What time is Blade due in?” I ask Havoc.
He looks at his watch before answering. “Sunshine texted about thirty minutes ago to say they were an hour out.”
“Alright, I’ll hang around for a bit, but I want to get over to Au and see how Delphi is getting on with the guys.”
