“You’re the grenade lady?”
“Is that what people are calling me? They really couldn’t think of anything better?” I blow a stray strand of hair from my face. “It kind of feels like they’re not even trying with that. Like when you buy a baby name book only to name your kid Aaron, you know?”
He looks at me like I’m insane. At this point, I think he might be on to something.
“Sorry, I tend to babble when I’m nervous.”
He swallows, his face gaunt and his eyebrows furrowed. I tilt my head, getting something from him I’m more than familiar with—the scent of fear.
“Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I’m asking you to anyway. I don’t think you want to hurt me. I think you could if you had to,” I add when his hand tightens on the gun. “But I don’t think that’s who you are. I know fear. I’ve spent the last five years of my life wrapped up in it like it was a heavy coat I couldn’t unfasten and lay down.”
I blow out a steadying breath and take a step closer. I raise my arm slowly so he can see me, open the cuff on my wrist, and let it drop to the floor. I turn my wrist around so he can see the scars there. He blinks, and I watch him refocus. The second he understands what he’s seeing, his eyes shoot to mine.
“Like I said, I know fear. I also know what it’s like to be alone and to think the world would be better off without me in it. That maybe in death, I might find a moment of peace.”
The gun wavers before he lowers it a little.
“My man is downstairs,” I warn him, feeling weird calling Kruger that, but I wasn’t sure what else to go with. “He’s fiercely protective of me. If he comes upstairs and sees this, he’ll kill you without a doubt. If you shoot me and he hears the gun, he’ll kill you before you get the chance to make a run for it. Now, I guess if you want to die, none of those things matter much to you. Aslong as your soul can handle the stain of carrying someone else’s death.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I just don’t want you to send me back.”
“I won’t be sending you anywhere you don’t want to go, kid. Give me the gun and let me help you.”
“You’re really the grenade lady?”
“It’s how I got the pretty cast and the chunk missing out of my skull.”
His eyes slip closed, and I watch as he has a silent conversation with himself before he lowers his arm and holds the gun out for me. I walk forward slowly and take the gun from him, popping it open to remove the bullets, which is when I realize the chamber is empty.
He looks at me sheepishly. “I really didn’t want to hurt you. Not even by accident.”
“I knew you were a good kid just by looking at you. You have kind eyes. Sad, but kind.”
He looks like he’s two seconds away from crying, and I might just join him. Sometimes I hate this fucking world. I just want the earth to stop spinning so I can step off and take a break from all the shit.
“I’m going to get some stuff to get you cleaned up. I need you to trust me a little longer. Can you do that?”
He looks rattled, so I walk closer and give him something he might recoil from or might need more than he needs air. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. He freezes solid. In fact, I wonder if I’ve made a huge miscalculation for a minute when I feel the barely unleashed maelstrom of emotions beating at him for freedom. And then I feel him break.
He buries his face in the crook of my neck, even though it has to hurt, and his whole body shakes. He’s breaking my heart. I have to fight to hold back my own tears, especially when Irealize he’s not making a sound. There is something even more poignant about someone falling apart in silence, as if their pain needs to be hidden, like it’s something they should be ashamed of or punished for.
I need to find Kruger and explain what’s going on. He’s going to flip his lid. But he’s going to have a fight on his hands if he thinks he’s going to make me break my promise to this kid.
Chapter Sixteen
KRUGER
I hangup my phone and turn as I hear the office door open.
I scan Delphi and grin when I see she’s still wearing her torn top. “I take it Legs didn’t leave anything behind?”
“I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen to me before you go off halfcocked.”
Instantly, I’m on alert. “What’s wrong?”
“Can you sit?”
I fold my arms across my chest. “Delphi…”
