“Jesus, this is gonna bite me in the ass, I just fucking know it,” Kruger mutters, making us both look at him. “Give me a couple of days to figure something out. I’ll have a prospect come stock the fridge and hang out with you for a bit. Con can bring the PlayStation or something. We’ll figure it out, but I can’t do anything without talking to my president.”
“You think he’ll help me?”
“I think he’ll have to, or Delphi will likely kidnap you and do a runner. And I don’t want to be chasing you guys across the fucking country.”
I grin and shrug when Theo looks at me. What can I say? Kruger knows me too well.
Chapter Eighteen
KRUGER
The drive homeis a quiet one, but it lacks the same comfort it once had. Now every breath I take feels laced with panic. Like I can hear a clock ticking somewhere in the background, reminding me that time is running out. She gets her cast off tomorrow. The insurance company has told her to expect her payout within the next two weeks. And well, she’s getting stronger and more determined every day to get back to her old self. Only, her old self hated me, so where does that leave us?
After tonight’s bombshells, am I kidding myself that we ever had the chance at more? I’ve heard time heals all wounds, but not when it’s fatal. Make no mistakes, Delphi might be walking and talking and the embodiment of courage under fire, but part of her died when she dragged that blade across her wrist. Her heart might beat, her lungs continue to expand, but her soul is playing peekaboo behind clouds with a baby boy who was taken far too soon.
I don’t believe she wants to die now, but that doesn’t mean I believe she’ll fight for the life she deserves. She’s more than happy to settle and wait. Wait for her time to end, wait untilshe’s reunited with Samuel and the other babies she lost along the way.
Maybe she’s even waiting to join Snake.
My hands clench on the steering wheel, making it creak. She looks over and frowns.
“You okay?”
I grit my teeth and nod. I feel her eyes on me, but I keep mine on the road, feeling like a fucking failure. By the time we pull up at the house, I’m ready to crawl out of my skin.
I jump out and walk around to help her out. I walk with her hand in mine to the door, fumbling my keys to unlock it. I push it open and usher her in, flicking the lights on for her before locking the door behind me. I lean against it and take her in as she moves into the room.
I watch the way she moves—the quiet confidence that’s in every step and sway of her hips. She’s comfortable in her own skin, but it’s misleading because it hides the damage to her psyche. To sustain the catastrophic damage she has, and still have the strength to stand there and just breathe, has me in awe. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as unworthy as I do right now.
She turns to look at me, the frown still on her face, when she sees me pressed to the door. She moves closer, but I shake my head, needing a moment. Needing a whole lot of fucking moments to pull my shit together.
“How can you even look at me?”
She dips her head, shuffling a little closer before she looks up. “What do you want me to say? I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t right now.”
“Would I be a complete prick if I told you I needed to ride? I need to clear my head a little so I can give you everything you need. If I stay here, I’m going to make it about me, and that’s fucked. You deserve better than that.”
Her expression softens as she crosses her arms, looking more vulnerable. “I get it. Will you come back?” she whispers.
I close the distance between us in a second, one hand going to her hip, one hand going to the back of her head. “I will always come back for you.”
She blinks back tears before pressing her head to my collarbone, her hands fisting the side of my T-shirt. We stand there for a moment, in the broken shards of all we could have been, unwilling just to give up and walk away, but neither of us able to figure out how to put the pieces back together again.
She pulls back first and looks up at me. “Should I not have told you?”
“Why? So you can keep carrying this pain alone? Fuck that. I figure what I’m feeling now is a fraction of what you deal with daily. How the fuck do you withstand so many blows and keep getting back up?”
“You’d be surprised what you can do when you have no other choice.”
I smooth my hands down the side of her face and tuck her hair behind her ears. I cup her face and kiss her, pouring into her the words I can’t seem to say out loud.
This time, I pull back first. “I’m going to call a prospect to come over. I want him inside—not because I think you’ll leave, but because I’m still worried about you having a seizure without me here.”
Whatever protest she had dies on her tongue. “I’m going to a nap anyway, but that’s fine. Can you see if Con is free?”
“I’ll ask.”
“Thank you.”
