In the days following, Carmen stays away, but Ramona, Marcella, and my sister all help me with the wedding planning.
Mateo talks to the priest and arranges a ceremony set for the following Thursday afternoon. It’s coming so quickly, I can barely breathe at the thought, but maybe doing it quickly is for the best; it gives me less time to fret and reconsider.
It’s decided that it will just be our immediate families and friends.
I text Carmen with the date, and after an entire day of not hearing from her, she calls me, apologizes, and says of course she’ll be there.
The three of us go to a salon, and I buy a wedding dress off the rack. Mother insists it be a long dress and that I will wear the same Spanish lace veil that my mother wore and her mother before her.
I pick a simple dress without much embellishment. The only adornments will be my grandmother's veil and the tiara that Consuela wore.
Standing on the small dais, staring in the mirror at the bridal salon, I feel nothing. No excitement, no romantic dreams. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a bride someday. Now it means nothing. It’s just symbolic trappings, and the ceremony is just something I have to get through, not something to look forward to with anticipation and happiness.
Thankfully, the morning sickness has passed, and no one can tell I’m pregnant. So far, my stomach is as flat as ever.
My sister puts the tiara on me, and my mother puts the family veil on me. My reflection tells me I’m pretty, but I feel no happiness. I feel nothing.
My mother claps her hands together, and tears form in her eyes. “My little girl. You are such a beautiful bride. You used to dress up with my apron for a veil when you were a child. Now look at you. So grown up.”
For a moment, I let myself imagine this is all for Blue, and that it will be him waiting for me at the end of the aisle when my father walks me in to give me away.
I give my mother a happy smile, and my eyes flood.
She enfolds me in a hug. “Oh, baby. Don’t you cry, too. I’m just so happy for you.”
I nod and let her believe it's Mateo I can’t wait to marry. But it isn’t. There’s only one man I dream about, and it isn’t my groom.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Blue—
The door bangs against the wall, and Trip comes into our meeting room. He’s one of the Desert Dogs we just patched over, and our new tech guy.
“I got it.” He slaps a laptop on the table in front of Rio, who sits at the head, then points to the screen. “That’s Blue’s house.”
Rio motions me closer to have a look.
“How’d you get this?” I ask.
“Hacked into their internet and accessed the doorbell cam footage of the house across the street. Found this from the evening of the fire.”
My brothers all gather around to watch the video.
A bird flies onto the porch.
“That’s what activated the camera.” Trip points at the screen.
A moment later, a motorcycle rolls up the street, and we see the rider hurl something at the house and the flash of fire as it explodes.
My jaw clenches at the memory. The experience from inside the house was somewhat different. I remember the terror when I dove for Luisa, taking her to the floor and shielding her with my body as the flames flashed over us.
“Rewind it,” Rio orders. “Can you slow it down?”
“Sure.” Trip swivels the laptop and makes the adjustment, then turns it back.
“Right there. Stop it,” Rio snaps, and when Trip stops the video, we’re staring at a Devil Kings patch and rocker.
“Wait a minute,” I growl. “Back it up again.”
