“He knows about the baby,” I whisper.
“What?” Carmen says, stopping in her tracks. “Who? Blue?”
“No, Mateo.”
The three of them get wide-eyed and exchange a look.
“What did he say? Is he calling off the engagement?” Ramona pushes past Carmen to stand in front of me.
“No. That’s just it. He still wants to marry me.”
“How did he find out? Did youtell him?”Carmen’s voice rises.
“He guessed.” I shrug. “Maybe he was just trying to see if I’d confess to having been with a man. Maybe he didn’t really expect me to confirm it. But when I did, he took it in stride. He said it didn’t matter, and that he’d be a good father to the child, that we’d have a good life.”
“Did he tell you he loves you?”
“He doesn’t love me. He said as much, but he said we could learn to love each other and that we were a good match. That we could be happy.”
“Do you believe him?” Carmen asks, squatting in front of me and taking my hands.
“I suppose I do.”
“Does anyone else in the family know you’re pregnant?”
“No. I don’t think so. Mateo said we should have a small ceremony, and the sooner the better. I suppose he wants everyone to think the baby is his, and that I was a good girl until our wedding.”
Carmen surges to her feet. “It’s an archaic, ridiculous custom. It’s no one’s business if you are a pure little virgin on your wedding day or not.”
“Tell that to my father,” I whisper. “I’m sure Mateo’s parents feel the same way.”
“So, you’ve decided then? You’re going to go through with it?” Carmen asks.
“Yes. It’s for the best. I have to think of the baby. My happiness is not important.”
“Of course it is.” Marcella squeezes my shoulder. “So, you’re not even going to tell Blue you’re pregnant?”
I shake my head. “It’s better this way. I don’t want to cause him anymore pain.”
“But passing his kid off as Mateo’s—that’s okay?” Carmen asks with a bite in her tone.
“Don’t make this harder for me. Please. This is for the best.”
“Yeah, keep tellin’ yourself that. I’m leaving.” She strides to the door, and I surge to my feet.
“Wait. Where are you going?”
“Home. And if you think I’ll stand up at the altar as a bridesmaid and watch my best friend in the whole world marry a man she doesn’t love, you’re crazy.” The door slams behind her, and I burst into tears.
Ramona and Marcella put their arms around me.
“You’re doing the right thing, Luisa,” Ramona says. “She’ll get over it. We’ll all be there for you at the church whether you want us as bridesmaids or if you’re just going to have your sister and Mateo’s brother stand up for you. However you want it, we’ll support you, won’t we, Marcella?”
“Of course. You’re doing the right thing. Mateo will give you and the baby a good life. This is the best for everyone.”
Then why do I feel like I’m dying inside? All I can hear in my head are Blue’s words.
I’m done with you.
