He sighs. “Once I was free. So long ago that I’ve almost forgotten what it feels like.”
“That is terrible. And here I am complaining because I must choose a man to marry.”
“You do not wish to marry?”
I laugh. “I do not wish to be bound to someone who will control me.”
“Hmm. It is a situation you should avoid at all costs. Would you have my advice?”
“Gladly.”
“Then I would tell you to choose the one with whom you can be most free. Or better yet, do not choose at all.” He stands, pacing the room as if he is unable to keep still.
I smile ruefully. “If only that was an option.”
“Why must you marry? Why choose a male who does not deserve you, who would not serve you loyally—” He breaks off as he draws close to my chair. His expression is intense, but in a moment he covers it up and turns away again.
“Can you ever be free again?” I ask him softly.
He spins. When he answers, his voice is choked. “I—” He sighs. “I cannot speak of that. Not with you.”
“With Noreth?”
He nods.
“Then I will ask him.”
“No! Please do not mention to him that we have spoken.”
“Would he be angry?”
“Perhaps.” He shrugs. “Perhaps I wish to keep my secrets. They are the only thing I truly own.”
It’s like this wind spirit has seen straight into my heart. I blink back tears, sudden, unexpected. “Can we talk again?”
“I would like that.”
There’s a pause then. I wish I could ask him more, but I do not wish to distress him. Finally I sigh. “If only I knew what to do.”
“You will know. Your heart will tell you.”
“Will it? Why can’t I hear it?”
He smiles. “You need more time?”
“I do, but both Noreth and Aurelion will not be kept waiting long. I sense that much. How long before it comes to blows with the two of them here both courting me at once?”
Jah’ruud gives me a thoughtful look. “Perhaps you can use that rivalry to your advantage. Why not have them both compete to impress you and choose the one who pleases you most?”
“Can I do that?” I whisper, smiling to myself at the thought.
“Are you not a queen?”
“Solhara? Not until I am married. For now I am only solha.”
“Then you should do whatever you wish. And let them grow used to it now.”
I grin. “Yes. I should, shouldn’t I? I shall have a husband competition and teach them both how to please me.” I’m so excited I jump out of my chair and rush to find the little notebook and quill pen I keep handy so I can begin making a list. “What shall I have them do?”
