I haven't opened up to anyone about what happened with Hannah. It’s been months, and while my pride is still hurt, my heart isn’t. In fact, it feels like I dodged a bullet. Like maybe me and Hannah were more incompatible than I thought. But that doesn’t mean I want to talk about the implosion of a past relationship.
Ididsay tit for tat, though, and Sawyer has told me an awful lot about her past over the last week or so. Maybe I owe her some vulnerability of my own.
She brushes Dolly’s mane and tail, waiting quietly. I exhale a rough breath and lean against the wall. “She ended things the night of our engagement party. Just as we were about to leave, she broke down and said she couldn’t do it anymore. She admitted I wasn’t making her happy, that there was no passion between us, and that she deserved to be with someone who made her feel wanted.”
“What did you say back?”
My eyes fasten on the wood beams of the ceiling. “I was sort of in shock. She’d been planning the wedding with my mom. I had thought everything was okay. Maybe not perfect, but fine. We weren’t fighting, just coexisting. So, I said what I thought she wanted to hear. I told her she deserved to be happy, and if I wasn’t making her happy, then she should go.”
Sawyer hisses through her teeth. My gaze darts to her, and she gives me a consolatory look. “I’m guessing she didn’t like that.”
I let out a humorless laugh. I could see now how the words might have seemed cold in the moment, but I hadn’t meant them that way. I truly just wanted Hannah to be happy. “She yelled at me, said I must have never cared for her if I was letting her leave so easily, and then she threw a vase at my head.”
Sawyer let out a loud cackling laugh, quickly covering her mouth with her hand.Christ, I love that laugh, even when it’s directed at me.
“You’re laughing at my pain?” I tease. Looking back, that moment was the most passion either of us had shown. It wasn’t something I thought I needed to be happy, but obviously she felt differently.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh,” she apologizes, fingers pressed to her lips to hold back her smile.
I shake my head back and forth, chuckling despite the fact that a few weeks ago I was still reeling from my failure in that relationship. “I was never quite what Hannah needed, I guess. The worst thing about it was having to tell my mom that the engagement was off two hours before the party to celebrate it was set to begin.”
“Oof. That’s rough.”
“Mom definitely wasn’t happy about all the last-minute calls to cancel everything. I didn’t hear the end of that for weeks. The whole thing messed me up for a while. But you want to know the most fucked up part?”
“What?” she asks.
“Hannah was right to leave me. I cared about her, but I was never going to be enough for her. I’d never be what she needed.”
I peer at Sawyer, sure I’ll see her lip curled in disgust at my admission, but instead, her eyes settle on mine. “She has no idea what she was missing out on by letting you go, Wes Dawson.”
She quickly ducks her head, busying herself with cleaning up the grooming supplies, and I’m too shocked by her statement to come up with any sort of reply as I let her words wash over me, loosening the knot of self-doubt and shame that had been tight in my chest for months.
Persistent Assholes
Sawyer
Ibegged Allie to come to meet me at Herds tonight even though she’s been burning the candle at both ends with teaching and using any free time she has to help organize the Cottonwood Creek Fall Fest that’s coming up next weekend.
Tripp and Wes got an invite too. The more, the merrier, and all that.
Now that I can walk across a room without needing a nap, I want to spend a night hanging out with my friends at our favorite bar, maybe do a little line dancing, and have a drink or two.
I willnotbe spending the night lingering on the conflicting feelings I’m having about Wes. After spending so much time with him, I find it harder and harder to hate the guy. Especially after he took care of me and built me a whole new goat enclosure. But he’s still only here to convince Pops to get rid of the ranch, and...
Nope.
I’m not thinking about any of that.
But Iamhoping to find Allie someone new to focus her attention on so she can be done with Chase for good. The guy is a narcissistic asshole, and I don’t trust him as far as I can spit when it comes to how he’ll handle Allie’s heart. She might say it’s just sex, but she’s never been good at keeping her emotions out of it. It comes with the territory of having a huge heart.
I scan the crowd, searching for Allie and definitelynothoping to catch sight of Wes. The bar is full, and the dance floor is crowded. I shout my drink order to Paula, the woman working the bar.
A hand lands on my hip as I wait for my drink, and someone crowds me from behind. I try to step away, but his body follows mine. “Sawyer, you’re lookin’ mighty fine tonight.” His hot breath smells like cheap tequila and my stomach sours.
“Kyle, you really don’t know how to take a hint, do you?” I spin toward him, giving him a daggered stare.
“I’m not allowed to talk to you now?” He steps closer and the hand on the small of my back wanders lower.
